Heart Breaking News for Non B J P Parties– Breaking News of July 2014


 

while Aaj Tak channel is making fun, these are the

likely headlines in July 2014 after Narendra Modi is

sworn in as PM with BJP winning more than 378 seats

 


ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ – सीबीआई ने गिरफ्तार किये सभी केंद्रीय 

 

मंत्री, दिग्विजय सिह को हवाई अड्डे पर पकडा गया 

 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़- पाक अधिकृत कश्मीर में सेना का 

 

ओपरेशन, मारे गए सैंकड़ो आतंकी

 

 
ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ -भारत की सीमा चारो और से सील,,चीन 

 

हटा पीछे ..

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ -पूरे भारत में अस्त्र शास्त्र बनाने क लिए

 

 फैक्ट्री खोली गई.. बड़े पैमाने पर युवाओं की सेना में

 

 भरती, रक्षा अनुसन्धान के लिए क़ानून पारित 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ – नरेन्द्र मोदी ने काले. धन को राष्ट्रीय संपत्ति 

 

घोषित किया…भारत को शुरू में 100 लाख करोड़ रूपया 

 

मिला वापस

 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़- पेट्रोल 40 रूपए सस्ता हुआ, डीज़ल सरकार 

 

खुद बनाएगी, नहीं होगा आयात,,मिलेगा 10 रूपए में 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ – भारत में पहली बार ..योग्यता अनुसार 

 

रोजगार का अधिकार कानून पारित 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ -सब्सिडी समाप्त, गरीबो को मुफ्त ही मिलेगी

 

 Gas, मध्यम वर्ग के लिए बनाए जाएंगे बायो gas प्लांट …

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ – विदेशी कंपनियों से वापस लिए गए कोयला

 

 भण्डार … अब बन सकेगी सस्ती बिजली, बाद में दी 

 

जाएगी मुफ्त !!

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ -बंगलादेशियो को भगाया जाएगा वापस, 

 

हिन्दू धर्म पर शोध के लिए कमेटी गठित 

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ –संस्कृत भारत की राष्ट्र भाषा घोषित,

 

संस्कृत विद्वानों का पेनल गठित, किया जाएगा

 

सरलीकरण !!

 

सभी भारतीय भाषाओ को मिलेगा अङ्ग्रेजी से अधिक

 

 

सम्मान !! ……. !!


मित्रो ये तो एक छोटा सा प्रस्तुती करन है …

 

2014 के बाद भारत का इतिहास सदैव के लिए बदल 

 

जाएगा !!

 

 ऊपर जाएगा या नीचे ..ये भारत की जनता के कर्मो और

 

वोटिंग वाले दिन किये जाने वाली हरकत पर निर्भर करता 

 

है ।
– 
आप लोग जोक्स फॉरवर्ड करते ही हो.

 


इसे भी इतना फॉरवर्ड करो की पूरा भारत इसे पढ़े ..


मोदी जी को प्रधानमंत्री बनाने के लिए मास्टर प्लान ..!!


सोशल मीडिया से हम केवल 160 सीट्स तक पहुँच सकते 

 

 है और बाकि 383 सीट्स तक पहुंचना है तो हमें

ग्राउंड जीरो (जमीन) पर कार्य करना होगा .

अगर 2 लाख मोदी समर्थको में से हर एक समर्थक ने

१० लोगो के पास मोदी जी की आवाज़ पहुंचाई तो हम

2 करोड़ लोगो तक पहुंचेंगे ..

ये कहना है चेतन भगत का . ये काम आप ऑफिस में

घर पर पार्क में जब दोस्तों के साथ हो या फिर

हो तो आप चार लोगो के साथ मेट्रो बस ट्रेन दुकान

मकान जहाँ भी हो चर्चा करे मोदी के बारे में बताये

लोगो को ..!! ये मौका मिला है आप सब को देश बचाने

का फिर मत कहना की हम देश के लिए कुछ न कर

सके .. एक ही विकल है अब हमरे पास .. मोदी लाओ

देश बचाओ .. शेयर करे जनहित में जारी .

कॉपी पेस्ट या शेयर करे .

 

तेरह करोड़ इक्यासी लाख अठासी हजार दो सौ चालीस

“13,81,88,240” मतलब 13.4% कुल इतने मुसलमान हैं 

भारत में और 

 

१. कांग्रेस

२. बसपा

 

३. सपा

४. तृणमूल

५. टीएमसी

६. टीडीपी

७. जेडीयू

८. जेडीएस

९. राजद

१०. लोजपा

११. पीस पार्टी

१२. द्रमुक

१३. एनसीपी

१४. झामुमो

१५. सीपीएम

१६. बीजेडी

१७. सीपीएम

१८. सीपीआई

१९. एमआईएम

२०. नेशनल कांफ्रेंस

और भी कई छोटी बड़ी पार्टियाँ दिन रात इन मुसलमानों 

 

का वोट लेने के लिए बयासी करोड़ से ज्यादा

 

 

(827,578,868) हिन्दुओं का अपमान पे अपमान किये

 

जा रही हैं, क्या हिन्दुओं की वोट की कोई कीमत नहीं है?

 

 

 

सभी हिन्दुओं को कहो कि इन सब पार्टियों के खिलाफ़ 

 

वोट देकर सबक सिखा दो..!

 

ये लोग भविष्य में हिन्दुओं का अपमान करने की 

 

जुर्रत ना कर पाये,, “वन्देमातरम”

 

 

Beautiful Beaches around the World


Beautiful Beaches on Every Continent

 

 

 

 

 

AustraliaWhitehaven Beach, Queensland
Australia’s world famous Whitehaven Beach is located on North Queensland’s Whitsunday Island. The majestic white sands are actually made up of tiny bits of coral from the Great Barrier Reef, after millions of years of being turned and crushed by the blue, gentle ocean waves. Since it’s located so close to Australia’s coast, the island is a popular day trip and easily accessible.

Africa – Beaches of Mauritius
The African island nation of Mauritius has so many beautiful beaches, it was impossible to pick just one. A coral reef surrounds the islands, making for some amazing snorkeling. You may also recall that the island was the only known home of the famously extinct Dodo bird, which met its demise shortly after European settlers discovered it.

Asia – Sanur Beach, Bali, Indonesia
If Bali is known for anything, it’s the beaches. Lined with resorts and popular with tourists, Sanur Beach has a well deserved reputation of being one of the world’s most beautiful. The surf here is gentler than at other beaches on the island, and the surrounding beach town is mellow, laid back and exactly what you’d expect from paradise. Lounging under a palm tree here will quickly make you forget all your troubles.

North America – Bahias de Huatulco, Oaxaca, Mexico
Located in the largest ecological reserve designated by the Mexican government, is the Bahias de Huatulco, which includes 35km of coastline, 10 bays and 35 beaches. While many of the beaches are secluded, there is also a local infrastructure in place for travelers.. Because so many of the beaches are hard to reach, you’ll be able to cozy in to your own romantic nook far away from the ’spring break’ crowds and noise common in Mexico’s more populous beaches.

South America – Praia do Rosa, Brazil
In a land of beautiful beaches, Praia do Rosa is one of Brazil’s best. Nestled within a crescent-shaped bay, this beach has it all: sand dunes, surfing, beautiful people, charming bungalow getaways, and you can even catch a glimpse here of southern right whales making their seasonal migration, from July to November.

Europe – Navagio Beach, Zakynthos, Greece
Perhaps more famously known as “Shipwreck Beach” or “Smuggler’s Cove”, this breathtaking white-sands spot might symbolize the Greek Islands better than anywhere. The shipwreck is the suspected remains of the smuggler ship Panagiotis, which would be ghostly or ominous if we couldn’t imagine a better place to shipwreck.

Antarctica – Deception Island Beach
We know Antarctica isn’t exactly a continent known for its beaches, but you might be surprised. Most notable is Deception Island, which is actually a half-submerged, active volcano caldera. It may be hard to believe, but thanks to that volcano, it’s actually warm enough to swim in the island’s bay. Yes, even in Antarctica. The island also features several hot springs, like those featured above. Try swimming with the penguins– in a bathing suit!

 

how to be happy and Contended..? a story


There lived a Sadhu who regularly used to give discourses. One day at the end of the discourse he was talking of being grateful to existence. “Operate from a space of gratitude, `Kritajna’. This will allow us to expand.” a beggar was sitting in a corner and listening to the discourse, he came up to the Sadhu and said, “Maharaj, your talk was great. But one thing I am not able to do. You said to be grateful to the existence because it has always showered benediction on you. Sorry! But, existence has not given me anything. I am struggling even for one roti”.

The Sadhu said, “ I agree with you, I will give you two lacks, right here, will you be grateful?’ The beggar was thrilled.

“But I want something in return from you”, said the Sadhu. “I do not have anything, what can I give you? If I have something I will definitely give you.” said the beggar.

“I won’t ask you anything that you do not have”, said the Sadhu. The agreement was made.The Sadhu said, “I will make arrangements for the two lacks; you please give me both your eyes.”

The beggar was astonished. “What will I do with these two lacks without my eyes! I don’t agree to the deal,” he said. “I prefer my two eyes to the two lacks”.

The Sadhu said, “but you said you don’t have anything and were cursing existence.’

This is a beautiful story. Two eyes he had, then two hands, two legs, stomach etc., He is already a multi millionaire. But all these gifts we do not see. For the beggar, money was very important.That we can see is such a great gift of existence. We can hear. We can walk. All are great gifts. If you say you are unhappy, it is ridiculous. In fact we should dance and celebrate that existence has given us so many gifts.

We are normally focused on what is missing in life. The moment you start operating from what you don’t have, whatever you have also go into darkness.

PRISONERS VS EMPLOYEES


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Prisoners v/s Employees… !!

IN PRISON
AT WORK
you spend the majority of your time in an 8’X10′ cell .
you spend most of your time in a 6’X8′ cubicle .. 

IN PRISON
AT WORK
you get three meals a day (free).
you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .
IN PRISON
AT WORK
you get time off for good behavior.
you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.
IN PRISON
AT WORK
a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you ..
you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself .
IN PRISON
AT WORK
you can watch TV and play games.
you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON 
they allow your family and    
friends to visit.
AT WORK 
you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON
AT WORK
all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Humm? 

Which Sounds Better? 

So what are you waiting for………???


Kill your Boss 



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HRD Human Relations Development


May be it is a Lesson for those who Live in a Fools paradise.

————————————–
TODAY’S RELATIONSHIPS
By
Saman

I was right about the turban again! The Sardar sitting next to me was most definitely a fauji! Not for me the Montek Singh turban or the yuppee turbans worn by Vancouver Sardars. No Siree!

The turban standard that I subscribed to was the one and only Bajwa standards. I being a southie and a fauji, Bajwa had, years ago, initiated me into the art of turban wearing. Having helped him set up his turbans on many occasions, sometimes when our ship was rolling and pitching like hell, I was almost a connoisseur on turbans! Also, my vanity prevented me from appreciating any other way a turban is worn.
This was Bajwa Standards, well almost.

‘Hi’, says the Sardar, red turban, red fifty, about sixty years of age, or so I think.

‘Hello’- me

‘I am Vikram Singh’ – Sardar

Now this is where I typically stop. I don’t like too much conversation on flights. I am the quiet, reading, sleeping type. I generally mumble something and pretend to look at a magazine. But this was a fauji after all! This long business class flight from JFK to Dubai could turn out different.

Me-‘Samani, 48 NDA (just on a whim!)’

Well, well, well’ says the Sardar, ‘I am from the 22nd course’-Spot on Samani!  And the flight starts!

After an unusual bumpy take off, we all get settled down. When the hostess asks for a drink, I choose my usual Jim Beam , soda hoping that the Sardar will also have a drink. But he is different. He chooses orange juice. My first thoughts were ‘This one has turned religious!’ ‘So what do you do in the US?’ asks the Sardar, if just to start a conversation

‘Came for a Board meet’ – me

‘ I came on a holiday to the US’ says the Sardar, looking at me from the corner of his eyes, weighing me. I could almost hear his thoughts. This guy should address me as ‘sir’ is what he is thinking !

Good to hear that Sir!’-me.

After leaving the navy 14 years ago, I don’t like to call any one ‘sir’ and also do not like to be called ‘sir’ by any one. But 22nd course is miles senior! After that it is a pretty much one sided conversation, with him talking and I listening.

What a story this turns out to be! ‘ Had an excellent twenty two years in the Army, with Command appointments and the occasional tiff with the bosses initially’ starts the Sardar. ‘ Tiffs got more frequent as I went up in service’. ‘Got married like anyone else, two kids, both sons’ . ‘Left the army as it was strangling me. Couldn’t stand the hierarchy and especially those bureaucrats in Delhi’ ‘liked my old monk soda-too much of it in fact’-Sardar giving me his life story in tweets!

‘Started a small textile business based in Ludhiana initially’ continues the Sardar.’ Slowly grew and established my business first in Delhi and then in Mumbai’. ‘That’s when tragedy stuck’ says he, hoping that I would break my silence at least now.

‘What happened sir’ I dutifully ask, getting slightly muzzled with my second Jim Beam. I might as well confess, I am a two Jim Beam (small) man. Anything more than that, I get high and go to sleep.

‘Well the wife dies on me suddenly’ says the Sardar fully accusing her as if it was her fault.‘So sorry to hear that sir’ I mumble.

‘Blood cancer they said. One minute she was there and another minute she was gone’ continues the Sardar. ‘Tried to give her the best medical attention-no luck’. ‘Worst part was that she was the bridge between me andmy sons or their wives’. ‘You know with these field appointments, you hardly know your sons, especially when they grow up’. ‘Worse still when they get married’. ‘’Their wives were so, well, different’. ‘I think I have two grand sons and three grand daughters’ . ‘Or is it the other way around?’ ‘Not sure’ says the Sardar almost asking me to help him remember.‘But the business went on extremely well’ he continues.

‘Bought a large plot near Gurgaon’ and built a three story house’. ‘Ground floor for me, first floor for the elder son ‘s family and top floor for the younger son’s family’. Elder son to look after the business in Delhi and younger one  for Mumbai. I retained overall control and also business expansion into other metros. 33 crores  turn over in four years, can you believe that?’ asks the Sardar

‘Wife died in the ground floor. At least she could take part a bit in my success’.  ‘Three cars’. Bought the second Sonata in whole of Delhi, would you believe this?’ he continues. Having stayed in Dubai for long, I know for a fact that Hyundai Sonata is a lousy car but I let him bask in his glory. “That was great Sir, I mumbled’   ‘Yes, Sonata for me, Esteem for my sons’ says the Sardar and the meal arrives. I see the Sardar having Asian Jain Vegetarian meal. “This is surely going to end religious ‘ I think ‘See how life changes’ the sardar asks philosophically between mouths full of yucky pasty main course.

‘This happens one day, after my wife’s death, when I was about sixty one years old’ he says

‘My elder daughter in law comes to me and says, “Papa why don’t you spend more time with the grand kids?”

‘Now this is the first time she has spoken to me in months’ continues the Sardar, ‘I thought she was being extremely nice and cares about me’   ‘Sure Beta, what do you want me to do?’ I asked.

‘Why don’t you drop them to school daily in the Sonata?’ says Rupali, ‘well that’s her name’

‘Sure Beta’ I say, wholeheartedly thinking that I should spend more time with the grandkids;  especially since I did not spend time with my kids

‘This routine starts and actually I started enjoying  it myself. The kids like the Sonata. Well they were spoiling it a bit but that was OK’

‘After a few months’ continues the Sardar, it was the younger daughter in law’s turn. She comes and asks ‘Papa, can you get us some grocery?’

‘What do you need Beta’ I ask and she gives me a long list. ‘So I dutifully get it, using my credit card for god’s sake!’

This goes on for a while and slowly but steadily I start doing a lot of house hold work. Of course we had maids etc but I am soon helping with kids’ homework.

On my sixty third birthday, my younger son comes to me and says ’ papa, I have a surprise gift for you!’. He takes me outside and shows me a brand new Alto all 800 cc of it. Couldn’t make out whether it is a second hand car. I mumbled ‘thanks’

‘Suddenly from next day, the driver drops me and the kids to school in the Alto. Elder son has gone on a visit to his in laws in the Sonata.

I still did not feel anything amiss’. The sardar stops to see if I am listening or have I dozed off. He doesn’t know that I am all ears now and in fact my heart is palpitating.

Then one day during holi, we have a family dinner. Now this is one tradition which the wife has established, god bless her soul. Come hell or high water, holi dinner was taboo. That’s when I make an announcement

“Beta logon, I have a surprise gift for you!”

“What’s it papa, asks the elder son’

‘I have arranged a family holiday for all you for 45 days to the US during the summer!’. ‘I think you all looked after me so well that I felt you needed the break’ “all business class, five star stay in both west and east coast’

‘But papa, how about the business?’-younger son

‘All taken care of. Shyam Gupta ( our manager for a long time) and I will handle this in your absence. As such business is dull during summer and I so want you to go and enjoy!’.

“The wives were pleased whilst the sons, I was not so sure’. “Grand kids yell-whoopie’

‘That was a great gesture’ I say, munching a sandwich

‘But what was greater was yet to come’ says the sardar. ‘Just like the appreciation exercises we did in staff college, I had’ appreciated the situation and situated the appreciation’ he continues, the only hint of humour during our entire conversation during the long flight.

Then comes a burst of gunfire from the Sardar

Just after Holi

1. I place an ad in the Times of India Matrimony asking for a soul mate

2. I place another ad for selling my house

3. Yet another ad for selling my business

4. last ad for selling my cars, except the Sonata

‘When the family duly went on the holiday, I sold the house, my business and cars. And do you know, also found a soul mate in a Bengali professor, teaching in JNU!’. I shifted to DSOI and here I am back from my holiday! My wife had some business in New York and she is coming back after a week. She doesn’t like meat eaters or drinkers and that’s why I decided to give up both.

In the bargain my weight has come down and my medical test reports have all come to near normal.

‘A success story wouldn’t you say?’ asks the Sardar when the flight is about to land in Dubai. ’ And you know what, ‘ he continues,’ when I land in Delhi, the Sonata will pick me up to take me to DSOI!’

I am not a hugging person. But this was one occasion I almost got up,
(screw the seat belt sign) and hugged the man!


With best wishes

 

Humour


Valid reason to divorce …

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an Americangirl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until
one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at
drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read,
and it say:
*

**

“Polish Remover”

Mathematics


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AMAZING
 You will love this, whether you’re a “Bean counter” or an “Engineer.”
Click your mouse here:

 
Please watch to the end – only a minute or two.

 

 

Good Friends are like Stars, you don’t see them but you know they’re always there’!
‘Truly Great Friends are hard to find, difficult to leave & impossible to forget’!

 


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Donkey Theorem


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The Great Donkey Theorem 
Equation 1 
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2 
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3 
Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman – spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude 

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who doesn’t spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude:- 
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together. 

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Donkey Theorem


The Great Donkey Theorem 

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman – spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude :

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who doesn’t spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude:-

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together.

 

Interesting facts on Indian Mythology


INTERESTING INFORMATION ON THE CHARACTERS IN HINDU MYTHOLOGIES
Mandavi and Shrutkirti, the wives of Bharata and Shatrughana
respectively where the daughters of Kushadbhoja,the brother of King
Janaka.
Demons Madhu & Kaitabha who were killed by Lord Vishnu at the
creation of the world were born as Atikaya & Trishara, as sons of
Ravana & Dhanyamalini.
Jambavantha,who is believed to live from Sat Yug to Dwapara Yug is
considered as the King of bears & the 1st son of Brahma before humans
were created.
Jambavati, one of the chief wives of Krishna was daughter of
Jambavantha, with whom lord Krishna had duel for the gem
Syamantaka known as Kohinoor.
King of Nagas- “Shesha” the incarnation of supreme God Sankarshan
is said to hold all planets on his hoods & constantly sing the glories of
Vishnu.
Hanumana was son of Kesari, s/o Brihaspati & Anjana a celestial
apsara born on earth as female Vanara due to curse.
Hanumana had a duel with his own son Makardhwaj while he reached
ether to rescue Rama & Lakshmana who had been kidnapped by
Ravana’s associates.
Goddess Saraswati is shown holding Book, Rosary, Pot of scared water
& Vina depicting knowledge, spirituality, purification & Art
respectively.
Manthara, cursed Indera, the king of gods that he would not be
worshipped, as he prompted her to instigate kaikeyi for the exile of
Rama.
Pavak, Pavamana & Shuchi, the three sons of Swaha, the daughter of
Daksha who was married to Agni consume all the oblations offered to
fire of Yagna.
Atri proclaimed the theory of 3 strands that represent creation-
Brahma-“A”, sustenance-Vishnu-“U” & destruction-Shiva-“M” ie
“AUM” of the sacred thread Janeu.
Durga-beyond reach, Bhadrakali- power of time,Lalita-playful, Chandiviolent,
Annapurna- food giver, Amba- the mother & Bhairavi-fearful
are forms of Parvati.
1st form of Maa Durga- “Shailputri” worshipped on the first Navratra
mounts on the bull holding a lance in the right hand & a lotus in the left
hand.
Brahmacharini the 2nd form of Maa Durga-known as Aparna holds a
rosary & Kamandalu in her right & left hand & blesses unending
benefits of restraint.
“Chandraghanta” third facet of Durga has 10 hands, 3 eyes & bell
typed half moon on her forehead is worshipped for peace, tranquility &
prosperity.
Krishnamanda/Adi- Swarup/Astbhuja created universe with her smile,
Destroys diseases, sorrows & depression, blesses age, health &
reputation.
Lord Kartikeya-Skanda who was commander in chief in the war against
the demons was son of Skanda Mata. She is worshipped on 5th day of
Navaratri.
6th form of Maa Durga- Katyayni-has 3 eyes & 8 hands, was born to
Rishi Katyayan who practiced penance with a desire to get Paramba as
his daughter.
Black like night, having unlocked hair, wearing necklaces, shining like
lightening, riding on dead body-KALRATRI is the 7th facet of Maa-
Durga.
Fair as conch, moon & Kunda flower, having her body washed by Lord
Shiva with Ganga’s water, 8 year old- is Maha Gauri- the 8th facet of
Maa Durga.
Siddhi’s such Anima, Mahima, Garima, Laghima, Prapti, Prakamaya,
Isitwa & Vasitwa are blessed by the 9th facet of Maa Durga Siddhidatri.
Anirudda, grand-son of Krishana married Usha, daughter of Banasura
a thousand-armed asura the son of Bali.
Lord Rama was thirteen, when he married Sita who was six years old
By all means marry. If you get a good wìfe, you will be happy. If you get
a bad one, you will become a philosopher. SOCRATES
AGASTYA-Sage who drank the ocean.BHAIRATH-Sage who brought
Ganga from heaven.BHARADWAJ-father of teacher Drona.
Naraka in Hinduism is compared to Abrahmic concept of Hell, is ruled
by the Death God,such as the Hebrew bible’s Nergal,the Hindu Yama or
the christian Satan.
One of Sapatrishis, Maharishi Vishwamittera composed GYATRI –
MANTRAMahabhata
is also known as Ithas, Jay & 5th Veda
Pleased with hospitality, Rishi Durvash gave boon to Kunti to have sons
through gods .
Janmejaya , the last king of Pandu’s dynasty was the son of Prikshit,
grandson of Abhimanyu and great grandson of Arjuna.
Some of many incarnations of Maa Durga are- Kali, Bhagvati, Bhavani,
Ambika, Lalita, Gauri, Kandalini, Java and Rajeshwari.
Indian deities are shown with many hands holding some object which
symbolize various qualities.
Balrama the elder brother of Lord Krishana was son of Rohani &
Vasudava
Divine draftsman, Vishvakarama constructed Heaven, Sone Ki
Lanka,Dwarka & Hastinapur in Satya -yug, Tareta, Dwaper & Kaliyug

)

Architect Vishwakarm was also designer of flying chariots, divine
weapons & creator of missiles & Vajra the weapon of Indera.
Apart from Manu- Smriti there are Yagnavlka, Narada, Parashara &
Devala Smrities too.
In Satyug Lord Vishnu had incarnations as Matasya-FISH, Kachap-
TORTOISE, Vahra-BOAR, Narsingh-Half man- Half lion & Vaman-
Dwarf.
King Sibi was put to test by god Indra and god Agni in disguise of hawk
and dove.
Jyotirlings of Shiva with their respective states – Kedarnath-
Uttaranchal, Baijnath- Bihar, Vishwanatha- Uttar Pradesh and
Nageshwar- Gujarat.
The vehicles of MAA LAKSHMI-the goddess of wealth, KARTIKE-the
god of war and KAMDEV- the god of love are owl, peacock and parrot
respectively.
” Shiva ” is a symbol of kindness, friendlyness, graciousness or
auspiciousness.
Vishnu had 5th Vamana Avatar as son of Aditi, one of 13th wife of
Kashyapa, the son of Marichi Maanas-putera of Brahma.
The name of the family priest of Pandavas and Kauravas was
Kripacharya.
Any thing that you do not find in Mahabharta can not be found in any
book of the world.
A Mahayug is a sum total of Sat yug, Treta yug, Dwapar yug and Kal
yug and the lifespan of a Mahayug is 43, 20,000, multiple of 9.
The operator of the universe Lord Vishnu had nine Incarnations so for.
The life span of Satyug is 17,28,000 years, of Treta Yug is12,96,000
years,of Dwapar yug is of 9,96,000 years and that of Kalyug is 4,32,000
years. The life span of every yug is a multiple of 9.
The prime system of worship in Kali-yug is “Sat sang”, in Dwapar it
was “Pooja/ Archana”, in Tretha it was “Yagya” and in Satyug the
prime system of worship was “Tapasya”.
Lord Vishnu had his seventh incarnation as Maryadha Parshotam
Rama in Treta- Yug and had his eighth incarnation as Karm yogi
Krishna in Dwapar-Yug.
“Kyadu” was the mother of “Prahlad Bhagat”, the wife of
“Hiranyakashyapu” wrongly known as “Hiranyakashyap” who was
actually his elder brother. “Holika” was the sister of Hiranyakashyapu
who tried to set Prahlad on fire but was burnt herself.
“Kumbh Mela” festival takes place after twelve years at the following
four locations in India:-. Prayag, at the confluence of three rivers
Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati,
Haridwar, on the bank of river Ganga, Ujjain,on the bank of Ksipra
river and Nasik, on the bank of Godavari river.
The short tempered Rishi Durvasa was the son of Rishi Atri and
Ansuiya and is known as one of the incarnations of Lord Shiva.
“Raj Gopalacharya” was the first who translated Ramayana in
English.
Shubh ( luck ) & Labh ( profit ) are known as the two sons of Lord
Ganesha, the God of fortune.
Ridhi (grandeur) and Siddhi (accomplishment) are known as the two
wives of Lord Ganesha.
Among 18 Purans , Shrimad Bhagwat Puran is considered as the
supreme.
Only one temple in Pushkar in Rajasthan is attributed to Brahma.
Sri Lanka was constructed by Vishwakarma on the instance of Lord
Shiva for his consort Parvati.
“Trishul – Pani” was the first incarnation of Lord Shiva.
Kaydu, the wife of Hiranyakeshapu and Suniti, the wife of Uttanpad
were the mothers of Prahlad and Dhruv respectively.
King Janaka & his minister Sumanta were married on same day, Hour
& place
Devahuti, Prasuti and Akuti were the grand daughters of Lord
Brahma.
Bhagirath who brought river Ganga to earth was the son of Dileep &
grandson of Anshuman.
Barbreek, the son of Ghatotkach and the grandson of Bheema offered
his head as “Gurudakshana” to Lord Krishna and now is worshipped
as “Khatushyam”.
Disrespecting the elders “Dushasana”, the brother of “Duryodhana”
shot the first arrow in the battle of Mahabharata
None of the elderly persons of Mahabharata ever wished Duryodhana
“Vijay Bhava”- (May you win).
Saraswati, the consort of Brahma is known as Goddess of Education &
Lakshmi, the consort of Vishnu is known as Goddess of Wealth
According to Indian mythology Ahalaya, Droupadi, Tara, Kunti &
Mandhodri though married yet are considered damsel.
According to Indian mythology Ashavathama, Kripacharya, Ved Vyas,
Hanumana, Raja Balli, Vibhishana & Pershurama are considered
immortal.
Born at Phillour in Punjab, Shivanand composed Aarti”OM JAi
JAGDISH.” in 1870 .
Arjuna the prominent character of Mahabharata is also known as
Savyasachin – “one who can perform every task with either of his
hands”.
Dharmkashatra, Sathyam- Shivam & Sunderam temples of worship
established by Sathya Sai Baba are at Mumbai, Hyderabad & Chennai
respectively.
Out of 51 Shakti-Peeth, “places of worship of Goddess Shakti” the most
important Shakti Peeth known as the Kamakshi temple is in the state of
Assam.
Siddhi and Buddhi the wives of Ganesha were daughters of Vish- varna
and grand daughters of Kashyap.
Four temples of Lord Shiva in the state of Maharashtra are known as
Grishneshwar, Bhimashankar, Mahakaleshwar & Tryambakashwar.
Sathya-Sai-Baba claimed himself to be the re-incarnation of Shirdi -Sai-
Baba on May 23, 1940
Ikshvaku dynasty was started by Vivasvan, the grandson of Marichi,
one of the Manas putr of Brahma and ended by Lov and Kush, the sons
of Rama.
Out of 108 names of Lord Shiva, Hara-sin remover, Omkara-creator of
Om and Umapati- consort of Uma are the only names that start with H,
O and U.
Nine words- of GAYATRl-MANTRA stand for humility, austerity,
orderliness, co-operation, wisdom, integrity, responsibility & courage.
One of the importance of No 108 is that diameter of the sun is 108 times
the diameter of the earth.
The MALA has 108 beads & in Sikh tradition has a MALA OF 108
Knots tied in a string of wool, there are 108 forms of dance.
Due to severe penance Bhagat Dhruv was blessed to rule for a period of
36000 yrs approx and was also granted an eternal place in heaven as
pole star.
The river Saraswati was brought to earth by Rishi Keshava in the same
way as Bhagiratha brought Ganga to the earth.
Lord Krishna mastered 64 subjects in 64 days with the blessings of his
teacher Rishi Garg.
Black beauty, Draupadi is the only example of a woman having 5
brothers as her husbands.
Devhuti, the wife of Rishi Kardam was daughter of Swayambhav Manu
& Shatrupa who are known as the progenitors of human race.
Uttanpada the father of Dhruv (the pole star) was the son of
Swayambhav Manu & Shatrupa
The Bhagwad Gita consisting of 18 chapters is divided into three
segments Vishad Yog,Karam Yog and Bhakti Yog consisting of 6
chapters each.
Neglecting Bheeshma and Yudhishtra,due to the absence of steadiness
in their actions & thinking,Krishna chose Arjuna to deliver the
discourse of Gita.
Lord Vishnu had 4 incarnations in Sat Yug , 3 in Treta Yug , 1 in
Dwapar Yug , 1 in Kal Yug and 1 is yet awaited.
Names of Sapatrishi of present MANVANTRA are Atri, Vashishtha,
Gautama, Jamadagni Kashyapa, Vishvamitra & Bharadvaja.
Having been insulted by the sons of King Sagar, Rishi Kapil, the son of
Rishi Kardam reduced them into ashes.
According to Hindu religion “Shikha ” tuft of hair is known as flag of
Kala, Anusuya, Gati, Kriya, Khyati, Arundhati & Shanti were married
to Rishi Marichi, Atri, Pulaha, Kratu, Bhrigu, Vashishtha & Atharva
respectively.
The vehicles of Lord Shiva family were “Nandi”-the ox, “Singh”-the
lion, “Moosak”-the rat and “Mor”-the peacock.
“Geeta”, the essence of Indian mythology is composed in 700 verses, out
of which Lord Krishna recited only 577 verses.
The cremation of “Daanvir Karna”, an important character of
Mahabharata was performed on the hand of Lord Krishna.
Ansuiya the wife of Rishi Attari is known as symbol of fidelity.
Shukaracharya is known as the Guru of Asurs “Demons” and Brishpati
is known as the Guru of Surs “Devas”.
“Savitri” was the pious Hindu woman who managed to get her husband
back to life after he died.
Celestial musicians who are half bird and half human are known as
“Kinnaris”.
Upanishads/ Vedanta’s are 108 in no; only 12 are the most important,
are the last part of Vedas & are in the form of dialogue between Guru &
disciples.
The preceptor of devas, Brihaspati identified as Jupiter one of the
planets (Navgrah) was the son of Angirasa and Surupa.
Lord Shiva’s body consists of five faces- Sadyojata, Vamadeva, Aghora,
Tatpurusa and Isana which are known as Pancabrehmans.
According to Indian Mythology the vehicles of Kubera, Indera and
Yum-Raj are Pushpak- Viman, Aravat (the elephant) and Buffalo
respectively.
Goddess Sheetala , God Varun and Shani had donkey, seven swans and
crow as their respective vehicles.
The seven sacred rivers of India are Ganga, Yamuna, Godavari,
Saraswati, Narmada, Sindhu and Kaveri.
Kardam Rishi & Devhuti were the parents of 9 daughters- Kala,
Ansuya, Gati,Kriya, Khyati, Arundhati, Shanti, Havirbhu & Shraddha
& 1 son- Rishi Kapil.
Lord Shiva has six, eight and twelve arms while in boon giving form,
destructive form and benign form respectively.
Siddhidhatri, Kalaratri, Shailputri, Brahmacharini, Katyayani,
Chandraghanta, Kushmanda, Skandmata and Mahagauri are known as
the Nava Durgas.
Dattatreya was the confluence of Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara.
Goddess Meenakshi, the sister of Lord Vishnu and the consort of Lord
Shiva had three breast before her marriage.
Lord Vishnu had incarnations as Preshni-Garav, Upinder & Krishna
born to the same parents with different names Pershin/Sulpa,
Aditi/Kashap & Devki/Vasudev.
In Sanskrit “Ga” stands for Knowledge, “Na” for Transcendence &
“Ish” for lordship. It means Ganesha stands for lord that transcendence
the knowledge.
The troops of Lord Shiva were known as “Gana”. Lord Shiva
appointed Ganesha as commander of His troops, thus he is known as
Ganapati.
Son of Surya -Sanjana & husband of Shamale, Yum-raj is also known
as Mrtyu, Kala, Antaka, Vaivasvata, Sarva-panchera & Dharam-raj.
The first Shloka “Verse” spoken by Lord Krishna in The Bhagwad Gita
is number 11 of Parva “Chapter” 2 .
Ashta Lakshmi comprises of Adi Lakshmi, Dhanya Lakshmi, Dhairya
Lakshmi, Gaja Lakshmi, Santana Lakshmi, Vidya Lakshmi, Vijaya
Lakshmi & Dhana Lakshmi.
“Rahu-Ketu” the uninvited are the head and body of the same being
while Rahu represent short lived fortune, Ketu denotes the feeling of
emptyness.
Among the Panch Parameshwaras Lord Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha,
Surya and Maa Durga, lord Shiva is known as Maha Deva.
Bhagavad Gita is like a lighthouse of eternal wisdom that inspires any
man or woman to supreme accomplishment & enlightenment.
Ishvara/ Supreme controller, Jiva/ soul, Prakriti/Matter, Dharma/duty
& Kala/time are philosophical subject matters explained in the
Bhagavat-Gita.
Amravati is the capital of Swarga ruled by Indera the king of gods &
Alakaapuri is the capital of Kubera, the God of Wealth.
Lord Rama was born on 10th January, 5114 BC. HE was exiled for 14
years on his 25th birth day. He killed Bali on 7th Oct. 5077 BC.
Out of 700 verses of Gita , 577, 79.5 , 42.5 and 1 have been recited by
Lord Krishna , Arjuna , Sanjay and Dharitrashtra respectively.
Ganesha the son of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati is the only son of
God and Goddess who too is worshipped.
The robes of saffron color worn by the Indian sages are a symbol of
renunciation of all worldly pleasures & the flag of Sanatan Dharma too
represents this.

Moderator: Many thanks to bandhu Aditham  for collection and presentation of wonderful information.

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Indian Niagara


Indian Niagara
Beautiful !!  In India.
This breath taking natural picturesque splendor located at a road distance of 65 Kms from Trichur (Kerala) & 60 Kms from Cochin International airport.
Try to chalk out a holiday  in September just after the monsoons. The waterfalls will be in full force then. A tranquil & much needed escape from the troubles & stress of life!
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Just amazing…….not many of us would have known this to be there at all!!

 

Humour – Rat


 

Rat sky
Rat sky (Photo credit: Sukidala)

 

It was a practical session in the psychology class.

The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was in the middle of the cage. Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on side and kept a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it. Then, the professor changed the cake and kept some bread . The male rat ran towards the bread. This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.

And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat. Professor said: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

Then, one of the students from the back rows said:- “Sir, why don’t you change the female rat? She may be his wife!

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jumping Crocodiles of Darwin Islands


Acrobatic Yoga or Hilarious Stunts?

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net
City of Darwin named in honor of Charles Darwin is one of the most northern cities of Australia. The town itself is not interesting at all:a couple of streets with 100 000 citizens. City of Darwin is famous for its jumping crocodiles living in Adelaide river.
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Local crocodiles so cool that they even learned to live in salt water and often appear in the sea, so swim in the ocean of Darwin strictly not recommended. By the way you can not swim in the ocean not only because of the crocodiles , but also because of the box jellyfish.Their burns caused by stinging cells can be deadly to humans. According to the Australians, they are swimming in pools, but not in the ocean…
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Who is a Man?


 


A man is the most beautiful part of God’s creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buying gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.

He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.

His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.

Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

Worth sending 2 every man 2 make him smile & every woman 2 make her realize his worth!!

pl. respect your brother, Father, son and and love all members of your family and friends

 

Humour- gender of the Computer?


 

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:
1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The womens’ group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model..

The women won. . . !!

 

__._,_.___

 

SORRY!!!! WE ARE AMERICAN


 


The Story of A Washington DC Airport Ticket Agent

(unbelievable)….

The American nation pays their salaries!!

*A DC ‘airport ticket agent’ offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!* *

1.*I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) *

2. *I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town*. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he  Interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..” *

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ..” *

3.* A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando
. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, ‘Don’t lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!” (OMG) *

4.* I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada ?”

I said, ”No.” She said, ”But they look so close on the map” (OMG,again!) *

5.* An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked  if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas … When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh) *

6.* An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that. *

7.* A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.. *

8.* A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would
it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?” *

9.* I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.” *

10* Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane. She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!” *

11* Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!” *

12* A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I  want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .”

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”

”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”

The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape its in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

 

Laugh a little


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A day spent without laughter is a day wasted!!

Description:           cid:_2_09A6B94409A6B4A4004536996525787D 

Dad to Tintumon: When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush. 

Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what’s the difference between u and a dog? 

Tintumon called FM radio & said
“I’ve found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur.
Radio jocky : How honest .so you want to return his purse?
Tintumon : no. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him 

Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
“Dad,” tinumon said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up “
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?” Tintumon finished.

Teacher: Imagine u r a millionaire. Write ur life history. 
Tintumon didn’t write.
 
Teacher: why are you not writing?
 
Tintumon : I’m waiting 4 my secretary 2 take notes.
 

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote”Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers” 

Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Tintumon:NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Tintumon:”BANANA” 

The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,Wouldn’t it be better to hear one at a time?� 
Tintumon shouted, Okay you start.�
 

PASSIVE VOICE 
teacher: Write the passive voice of ” I made a mistake”
Tintumon: ” I was made by a mistake”
 

PROFESSOR 
A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
Tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI PAMBA”
professor: “I don’t understand anything”
Tintumon: “same 2 you”
 

PTA Meeting 
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its just u, me & the Principal ! 

Techy Tintumon 
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float!

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