Mother’s love


Subject: MOTHER’S LOVE

Shift work: The pups had to be fed in turn, to make sure that all<br />
of them received enough milk to survive



One need not be rich to be a mother.  She is an incarnation of love.  It is spontaneous in her and equal to all her children. The chidren are different in shape, thinking and size. But heart is same for all .
That is why we say  Belief comes from mind while Love springs up from heart.  We  worship God and address him as Holy Mother. There is no gender difference in God.  In order to satisfy the individual mind the God  transforms and presents Himself in whatever form  we desire. He is everything and everyone. 
I like the saying which I remember always “MARKATA GNAYAM    MARJALA GNAYAM”  –    

Your  devotion to God should be like the small baby monkeys.  They cling to the mother while the monther monkey never bothers about their grip and jumps from branch to branch at a great height, unmindful of the baby monkey holding on to it.  We  should attach ourselves to God like the baby monkeys.  Then what will happen?  The mother cat is all the time thinking and bothers about the kitten. The kitten is unconcerned with what the mother cat does. They sleep at the place where they were dropped.  It  is the mother who comes timely with milk to feed them and shift them by carrying them to safety from place to place until they are on their own.   When we attach ourselves to Krishna  like the baby monkey, He will look after us like the mother cat.!

as received from 
j.k. sivan 

 

ways to make your Parents Happy


The parents now a days are quite worried about the behavioral changes in their children due to several socio-economical reasons. The gap between parents and�us, the youth,�is increasing day by day due to which the family bonding is getting weaker and weaker.�We, the youth, want liberty in every deed we do. We want our parents�not to be disturb�us in what-ever�we do�in what-so-ever manner.�We have�forgotten the amount of time�our parents have invested in for�our brought up.�We have forgotten the countless efforts and sacrifices by�our parents throughout our lives.�
Starting from our birth they have taken care of our food (  years * 365 days * 3 times = 24000 times!), our clothes (daily washing, ironing, new purchasing), our education (daily home works, uniform, school/tuition fee), religious moral teaching every day (THE REAL GREAT JOB), computer toys purchasing and God knows how many other countless efforts they have put in to make us a complete human being�to survive in this world. Indeed, all those efforts�cannot be covered in this article but the overall emphasis is that its our moral and�religious�mandatory responsibility�to take care of them now.
Below are some small�acts of kindness which I request you to consider to show your affection with them and to take care of them:


  1. Give them enough money so that they don’t have to ask you.
  2. Share funny and entertaining things with them to make them laugh or smile.
  3. Don’t speak loudly. Speak slowly, nicely�and softly.
  4. Do not walk in front of them in market or anywhere. They might walk slow being old; stay behind them. Give them respect.
  5. Ask for small tasks again and again. For example, “Abou Jee, do you need water? Should i bring tea for you? Are you hungry, baba” etc�
  6. Closely monitor thier health. visit doctor if required. Have them thorougly checked time to time.
  7. Take care of their medicines. Set reminders on your phone for their medicines and�serve them on time.
  8. Take them to the mosque. Walk slowly. Follow their pace.
  9. Take them to the park�for walk. If not possible daily, then take them on weekend.
  10. Do not call them by their name. Call them with respect.
  11. Open the door for them with respect
  12. Adapt yourself according to�their�schedule not vise versa.
  13. Do shopping for them (buy their clothes, shoes, small items like tooth paste).� Buy your mother a nice coffee cup. Take them to market and buy them according to their likings. Buy your parents some nice books; usually people love to read books in old age.
  14. When you come back to home, visit them first in their room.
  15. Respect thier social circle and let them enjoy with their friends.� Article written by Junaid.Tahir
  16. In case of conflict on any issue, try to follow them as much as possible. Remember, they have been sacrificing their money and time in raising you for years and years. Its time to pay back. They have been showing all the patience during your childhood. Its time for you to be patient.
  17. Keep them with you instead of sending them�to old houses etc. This will be a big act of ignorance if you do.
  18. When starting the food, serve them first.
In the end, I would recommend�making a check list of this email and and paste it on any wall in your room or kitchen and read it often to remember
Please do share if you are doing any other good thing in making your parents feel great 🙂



 

FINAL INTERVIEW WITH GOD


THE FINAL INTERVIEW WITH GOD

THE FINAL INSPECTION

The soldier stood and faced The Ultimate,
which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.’Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
Have you been true and going to the Temple?’The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
‘No, Sir, I guess I isn’t.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can’t always be divine.

I’ve had to work most 365 days,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I’ve been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn’t mine to keep…
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, forgive me,
I’ve wept unmanly tears.

I know I don’t deserve a place,
Among the people here who are with You.
They never wanted me around any way,
Except to calm their fears.

If you’ve a place for me here,
It needn’t be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don’t have a place for me, I’ll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where all the Devas had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his Almighty.

‘Step forward now, you soldier,
You’ve borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on to the streets of Bliss,
You’ve done your time to deserve it.’

(Author Unknown and edited too my taste.)

Thinking of all the soldiers of the free world.





It’s the Military, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press. It’s the Military, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It’s theMilitary, not the politicians that ensures our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.If you care to offer the smallest token of recognition and appreciation for themilitary, please pass this on and pray for our men and women who have served and are currently serving our country and pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

 

 

Cox of Kisses and other stories


 

 

 

A Box of Kisses………………….

 

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. 

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the gold box was empty. Annoyed, he said to his daughter, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s suppose to be something inside the box? A box isn’t a present!” The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, “But Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you Daddy.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. 

It is told that the man kept the gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

 

Father and Son…………………

 

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 
years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window. 

The Father asked his Son, “What is this?” 

The Son replied “It is a crow”. 

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?” 

The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”. 

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, 

What is this?” 

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when 
he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”. 

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, “What is 
this?” 

This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the 
same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT 
IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?” 

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old 
tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening 
a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the 
following words were written in the diary :- 

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a 
crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I 
replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each 
time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not 
at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”. 

While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had 
felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when 
today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt 
irritated and annoyed. 

So.. 

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a 
burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and 
kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I 
want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I 
was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. 

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to 
make me a person presentable in the society today”. 

Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will 
say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

 

For my syster……………….

 

The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. 

The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.’ 

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny, 

are you sure I don’t have enough money?” 

The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” 

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. 

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. 

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 

‘It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. 

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.’ 

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. 

But he replied to me sadly. ‘No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.’ 

His eyes were so sad while saying this. ‘My Sister has gone to be with God. 
Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” 

My heart nearly stopped. 

The little boy looked up at me and said: ‘I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. 
I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.’ 

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. 
He then told me ‘I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me.’ 

‘I love my mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.’ 

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. 

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ‘Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” 

‘OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do have enough..’ I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. 
There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. 

The little boy said: ‘Thank you God for giving me enough money!’ 

Then he looked at me and added, ‘I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough 
money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!” 

‘I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. 
But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” 

‘My mommy loves white roses.’ 

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. 

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. 

I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. 

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young 

woman and a little girl. 

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. 

Was this the family of the little boy? 

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. 

I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. 

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. 

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. 

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

 

 

Who is a Man?


 


A man is the most beautiful part of God’s creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buying gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.

He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.

His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.

Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

Worth sending 2 every man 2 make him smile & every woman 2 make her realize his worth!!

pl. respect your brother, Father, son and and love all members of your family and friends

 

* குடும்ப மகிழ்ச்சிக்கு என்ன தேவை…?


 

 
கணவன் மனைவி – அற்புதமான விஷயங்கள்.

கணவன், மனைவி மண வாழ்வின் ஆரம்பத்திலிருந்தே அனைவருக்கும் மகிழ்வாய் குடும்பம் நடத்த ஆசை தான். அது சிலருக்கு எளிதாகவும், அனேகருக்கு சிரமமாகவும் இருக்கிறது.

கணவன் மனைவி ஒவ்வொருவரும் தெரிந்து கொள்ள வேண்டிய அற்புதமான விஷயங்கள்.

* குடும்ப மகிழ்ச்சிக்கு என்ன தேவை…? 
* கணவன் மனைவி எதிர்பார்ப்புகள் என்னென்ன..?
* குழந்தைகளை தன்னம்பிக்கையுடன் வளர்ப்பது எப்படி..?
* குடும்ப மகிழ்ச்சியில் உறுப்பினர்களின் பங்கு என்ன..?

குடும்ப மகிழ்ச்சிக்கு எது தேவை….?

1. வருமானம்.
2. ஒத்துழைப்பு.
3. மனித நேயம்.
4. பொழுதுபோக்கு.
5. ரசனை.
6. ஆரோக்கியம்.
7. மனப்பக்குவம்.
8. சேமிப்பு.
9. கூட்டு முயற்சி.
10.குழந்தைகள்.

கணவனிடம் மனைவி எதிர்பார்ப்பது என்ன…?

1. அன்பாக, பிரியமாக இருக்க வேண்டும்.
2. மனது புண்படும்படி பேசக்கூடாது.
3. கோபப்படக்கூடாது.
4. சாப்பாட்டில் குறை சொல்லக்கூடாது.
5. பலர் முன் திட்டக்கூடாது.
6. எந்த இடத்திலும் மனைவியை விட்டு கொடுக்கக்கூடாது.
7. முக்கிய விழாக்களுக்கு சேர்ந்து போக வேண்டும்.
8. மனைவியிடம் கலந்து ஆலோசிக்க வேண்டும்.
9. சொல்வதைப் பொறுமையாகக் கேட்க வேண்டும்.
10. மனைவியின் கருத்தை ஆதரிக்க வேண்டும், மதிக்க வேண்டும்.
11. வித்தியாசமாக ஏதாவது செய்தால் ரசிக்க வெண்டும். பாராட்ட வேண்டும்.
12. பணம் மட்டும் குறிக்கோள் அல்ல. குழந்தை, குடும்பம் இவற்றிற்கும் உரிய 
முக்கியத்துவம் தந்து நடந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.
13. வாரம் ஒரு முறையாவது. மனம் விட்டுப் பேச வேண்டும்.
14. மாதம் ஒரு முறையாவது வெளியில் அழைத்துச் செல்ல வேண்டும்.
15. ஆண்டுக்கு ஒரு முறையாவது சுற்றுலா செல்ல வேண்டும்.
16. பிள்ளைகளின் படிப்பைப் பற்றி அக்கறையுடன் கேட்க வேண்டும்.
17. ஒளிவு, மறைவு கூடாது.
18. மனைவியை நம்ப வேண்டும்.
19. முக்கியமானவற்றை மனைவியிடம் கூற வேண்டும்.
20. மனைவியிடம் அடுத்த பெண்ணை பாராட்டக்கூடாது.
21. அடுத்தவர் மனைவி அழகாக இருக்கிறாள் என்று எண்ணாமல் தனக்குக் 
கிடைத்ததை வைத்து சந்தோசப்படவேண்டும்.
22. தனக்கு இருக்கும் கஷ்டம் தன் மனைவிக்கும் இருக்கும் என்று எண்ண வேண்டும்.
23. உடல் நலமில்லாத போது உடனிருந்து கவனிக்க வேண்டும்.
24. சின்ன, சின்னத் தேவைகளை நிறைவு செய்ய வேண்டும்.
25. சிறு சிறு உதவிகள் செய்ய வேண்டும்.
26. குழந்தைகள் அசிங்கம் செய்து விட்டால் “இது உன் குழந்தை” என்று ஒதுங்கக்கூடாது.
27. அம்மாவிடம் காட்டும் பாசத்தை, மனைவியிடமும் காட்ட வேண்டும். ஏனென்றால் 
மனம் சலிக்காமல் அம்மாவை விட, அக்கா, தங்கையை விட அதிகமாக கவனிக்க 
கூடியவள் மனைவி.
28. நேரத்திற்குச் சாப்பிட வேண்டும்.
29. சாப்பாடு வேண்டுமென்றால் முன் கூட்டியே சொல்ல வேண்டும்.
30. எங்கு சென்றாலும் மனைவியிடம் சொல்லி விட்டு, சொல்ல வேண்டும்.
31. சொன்ன நேரத்திற்கு வர வேண்டும்.
32. எப்போதும் வீட்டு நினைப்பு வேண்டும்.
33. மனைவியின் பிறந்த நாள் தெரிய வேண்டும்.
34. மனைவிக்குப் பிடித்தவற்றை தெரிந்து வைத்திருக்க வேண்டும்.
35. பொய், சூது, மது, மாது போன்ற தீய பழக்கங்கள் கூடாது.
36. மனைவி வீட்டாரை குறை சொல்லக்கூடாது.
37. கைச் செலவுக்கு பணம் தர வேண்டும்.

மனைவியிடம் கணவன் எதிர்பார்ப்பது என்ன…? 

1. பள்ளி, அலுவலக நேரம் தெரிந்து அதற்குமுன் தயாரித்தல்.
2. காலையில் முன் எழுந்திருத்தல்.
3. எப்போதும் சிரித்த முகம்.
4. நேரம் பாராது உபசரித்தல்.
5. மாமியாரை தாயாக மதிக்க வேண்டும்.
6. கணவன் வீட்டாரிடையே அனுசரித்துப் போக வேண்டும்.
7. எதற்கெடுத்தாலும் ஆண்களைக் குறை சொல்லக்கூடாது.
8. அதிகாரம் பண்ணக்கூடாது.
9. குடும்ப ஒற்றுமைக்கு உழைக்க வேண்டும். அண்ணன், தம்பி பிரிப்பு கூடாது.
10. கணவன் குறைகளை வெளியே சொல்லக்கூடாது. அன்பால் திருத்த வேண்டும்.
11. கணவனை சந்தேகப்படக்கூடாது.
12. குடும்பச் சிக்கல்களை வெளியே சொல்லக்கூடாது.
13. பக்கத்து வீடுகளில் அரட்டை அடிப்பதைக் குறைக்க வேண்டும்.
14. வீட்டுக்கு வந்தவுடன், சாப்பிடும் போது சிக்கல்கள் குறித்து பேசக்கூடாது.
15. கணவர் வழி உறவினர்களையும் நன்கு உபசரிக்க வேண்டும்.
16. இருப்பதில் திருப்தி அடைய வேண்டும்.
17. அளவுக்கு மீறிய ஆசை கூடாது.
18. குழந்தை படிப்பில் கவனம் செலுத்த வேண்டும்.
19. கொடுக்கும் பணத்தில் சீராக குடும்பம் நடத்த வேண்டும்.
20. கணவரிடம் சொல்லாமல் கணவரின் சட்டைப் பையிலிருக்கும் பணத்தை எடுத்துக் 
கொள்ளக்கூடாது.
21. தேவைகளை முன் கூட்டியே சொல்ல வேண்டும்.
22. எதிர்காலத் திட்டங்களை சிந்திக்கும் போது ஒத்துழைக்க வேண்டும்.
23. தினமும் நடந்ததை இரவில் சொல்ல வேண்டும்.
24. தாய் வீட்டில் கணவரை குற்றம் சொன்னால் மறுத்துப் பேசவேண்டும்.
25. அடக்கம், பணிவு தேவை. கணவர் விருப்பத்துக்கு ஏற்றாற்போல் ஆடை, அலங்காரம் 
செய்ய வேண்டும்.
26. குழந்தையை கண்டிக்கும் போது எதிர்வாதம் கூடாது.
27. சுவையாக சமைத்து, அன்புடன் பரிமாற வேண்டும்.
28. கணவர் வீட்டுக்கு வரும் போது நல்ல தோற்றம் இருக்கும்படி வீட்டை அழகாக 
வைத்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும்.
29. பொது அறிவை வளர்த்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும்.
30. உரையாடலில் தெளிவாகப் பேசுவதுடன், பொருத்தமான முறையில் எடுத்துரைக்கும் 
விதமும் தெரிய வேண்டும்.
31. தேவையற்றதை வாங்கிப் பண முடக்கம் செய்யக் கூடாது.
32. உடம்பை சிலிம் ஆக வைத்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.

பிள்ளைகளுக்குத் தன்னம்பிக்கையை ஊட்டி வளர்ப்பது எப்படி…?

தன்னம்பிக்கை என்பது மனித வாழ்க்கைக்கு ஒரு நெம்புகோல் போன்றது. அது இல்லையேல் வாழ்க்கை இல்லை. இதனைப் பெற்றோர் தம் குழந்தைகளிடம் வளர்க்க வேண்டும்.
1. சுயமாக சிந்திக்க, சுயமாக செயல்பட குழந்தைகளுக்குக் கற்றுக் கொடுக்க வேண்டும். 
2. படிப்பில், அதோடு கூட வீட்டு வேலைகளில் குழந்தைகளுக்கு பெற்றோர் போதிய 
பயிற்சி அளிக்க வேண்டும்.
3. குழந்தைகளை அச்சுறுத்தி அடித்துக் கண்டிக்கக் கூடாது. ஆனாலும் அதன் போக்கில் 
எதேச்சையாக விட்டு விடவும் கூடாது.
4. குழந்தைகளுக்கு அன்புப்பால் ஊட்டி, அரவணைத்துப் பெருமைப்படுத்தவேண்டும்.
5. ’நீ ராசா அல்லவா..? ராசாத்தி அல்லவா..?’ என்கிற வாசகங்கள் பெற்றோர் 
வாயிலிருந்து வர வேண்டும்.
6. “மக்கு,மண்டு,மண்டூகம்” போன்ற வாசகங்கள் மலையேற வேண்டும்.
7. பயம், கூச்சமின்றி, உறுதியான நெஞ்சம், உண்மையான பேச்சு, உயர்வான பண்பு 
இவை குழந்தைகளுக்கு அமைய முயற்சிகள் மேற்கொள்ள வேண்டும்.

உங்கள் பங்கு என்ன…?

உங்கள் குடும்பம் மகிழ்வாக இருக்க அல்லது அதில் மகிழ்ச்சியைக் குறைக்க, தான் எந்த அளவு காரணம் என்பதை ஒவ்வொருவரும் தெரிந்து, இல்லாததை கொண்டு வர வேண்டும்.

1. அன்பாகப் பேசுவது.
2. பிறர் மீது அக்கறை காட்டுவது.
3. வீட்டை அழகாக வைத்துக் கொள்வது.
4. குறை கூறாமல் இருப்பது.
5. சொன்னதை செய்து கொடுப்பது.
6. இன்முகத்துடன் இருப்பது.
7. முன் மாதிரியாக நடந்து கொள்வது.
8. பிறரை நம்புவது.
9. ஒன்றாக பயணம் போக விரும்புவது.
10. பணிவு.
11. எதையும் எடுத்த, உரிய இடத்தில் வைப்பது.
12. பிறர் வேலைகளில் உதவுவது.
13. பிறருக்கு விட்டுக் கொடுப்பது.
14. பிறர் வருந்தும் போது ஆறுதல் கூறுவது.
15. சுறுசுறுப்பு.
16. சிறிய விசயங்களைக் கூட பாராட்டுவது.
17. புதிய முயற்சிகளை ஊக்குவிப்பது.
18. நகைச்சுவையாக பேசுவது.
19. அதிகமாக வேலை செய்ய விரும்புவது.
20. செலவுகளைக் குறைக்க ஆலோசனை கூறுவது.
21. நேரம் தவறாமை.
22. தற்பெருமை பேசாமல் இருப்பது.
23. தெளிவாகப் பேசுவது.
24. நேர்மையாய் இருப்பது.
25. பிறர் மனதை புண்படுத்தாமல் இருப்பது.

 
 Very good collection of thoughts by bandhu Subramanian. In my opinion, Husband and Wife must be first good friends.If bascially they are good friends, every thing else will follow automatically. Though the hubby -wife relationship is different from friendship, unless the couple are friends of each other the ” zing” will be missing!
 
 
           
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SUCCESSFUL GRUHASTHASHRAM(FAMILY LIFE)


Across all religions there is a universal concept that when a man and woman marry with proper attitude they become one body. They don’t merge into each other’s existence, but it means that they start living for a common purpose – to serve God together.
 
They share the same goal at many levels. First – I will do anything to protect you and you will do anything to protect me; this is oneness. We are there for each other and whatever the difficulties we may face, we will be faithful to each other, till death separates us. It means to give up one’s false ego for the sake of the other. It’s a two way street. So this faithfulness, this devotion to each other is the common principle of marriage.
 
Secondly, we will tolerate any differences between us for the sake of giving the children the best possible upbringing. I may be angry as fire on you and you may be totally disgusted with me, but if the children are there, we will not express our anger. If they see their parents don’t like each other it will affect their consciousness negatively. They will feel insecure and suffer internally. They may not understand intellectually what that suffering is, but it’s going to go deep within their psyche, and it will mold their consciousness for the rest of their lives. Even when they grow to the age of their parents, they will have certain insecurities, within their consciousness because of how their parents behaved. Whether it’s a fight or a cold war, children can feel the vibrations and its affects them within. So in a marriage we have to give up our egos and our preferences because we share one principle – the welfare of our children.
 
 And all this becomes transcendental when it is done in the service of Lord  Sriman Narayanan.. Because the children are God’s children and our bodies are God’s bodies so we should not misuse them. Marriage is a divine relationship because we are responsible to the Lord  on behalf of each other. This is oneness.
 
 
 
Our Acharyas explains that when a husband and wife live together congenially with austerities and with god   as the center of their lives – with service to god, service to their children, service to the society, and service to each other in connection to devotion to God; God lives in that house, not figuratively but in a very real sense. Between the husband and wife one person is sufficient to execute devotional service because both of them will enjoy the results because of their good relationship. Therefore, if the wife is unable to execute devotional service, the husband should carefully do so and the faithful wife will share the result, or vice versa. The relationship between husband and wife is firmly established when the wife is faithful and the husband is sincere. Then there is oneness because they are sharing their lives with a sense of responsibility. Whatever one person is doing the other is getting the spiritual credit for it.
 
In a marriage Lord Vishnu  works through your partner to give you what you lack. And if both parties are sincere, dedicated and understand the above mentioned principle then they will help each other to go back to the kingdom of Sri Vaikunta , keeping Vishnu in the center of their lives.