relationship – My blog- K. Hariharan

Grand Parent’s Answering Machine

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GRANDPARENTS’ ANSWERING MACHINE

Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.
“beeeeeppp ….”
If you are one of our children,
dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5
in order of “birth arrival” so we know who it is.

If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to

your home,press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre, start

talking …. we are listening!!!”

_________________________________

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.

They like other people’s.

A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come

to see them…They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good

if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves

and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why

we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’

They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and

‘How come dogs chase cats?’

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for

the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have

television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say

prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME

GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS

SMART AS HIM!

It’s funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

Send this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or heck, send it to

everyone. It will make their day.

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May be it is a Lesson for those who Live in a Fools paradise.

————————————–TODAY’S RELATIONSHIPS
By
Saman

I was right about the turban again! The Sardar sitting next to me was most definitely a fauji! Not for me the Montek Singh turban or the yuppee turbans worn by Vancouver Sardars. No Siree!
The turban standard that I subscribed to was the one and only Bajwa standards. I being a southie and a fauji, Bajwa had, years ago, initiated me into the art of turban wearing. Having helped him set up his turbans on many occasions, sometimes when our ship was rolling and pitching like hell, I was almost a connoisseur on turbans! Also, my vanity prevented me from appreciating any other way a turban is worn.
This was Bajwa Standards, well almost.

‘Hi’, says the Sardar, red turban, red fifty, about sixty years of age, or so I think.

‘Hello’- me

‘I am Vikram Singh’ – Sardar

Now this is where I typically stop. I don’t like too much conversation on flights. I am the quiet, reading, sleeping type. I generally mumble something and pretend to look at a magazine. But this was a fauji after all! This long business class flight from JFK to Dubai could turn out different.

Me-‘Samani, 48 NDA (just on a whim!)’
‘Well, well, well’ says the Sardar, ‘I am from the 22nd course’-Spot on Samani! And the flight starts!

After an unusual bumpy take off, we all get settled down. When the hostess asks for a drink, I choose my usual Jim Beam , soda hoping that the Sardar will also have a drink. But he is different. He chooses orange juice. My first thoughts were ‘This one has turned religious!’ ‘So what do you do in the US?’ asks the Sardar, if just to start a conversation

‘Came for a Board meet’ – me

‘ I came on a holiday to the US’ says the Sardar, looking at me from the corner of his eyes, weighing me. I could almost hear his thoughts. This guy should address me as ‘sir’ is what he is thinking !

‘Good to hear that Sir!’-me.

After leaving the navy 14 years ago, I don’t like to call any one ‘sir’ and also do not like to be called ‘sir’ by any one. But 22nd course is miles senior! After that it is a pretty much one sided conversation, with him talking and I listening.

What a story this turns out to be! ‘ Had an excellent twenty two years in the Army, with Command appointments and the occasional tiff with the bosses initially’ starts the Sardar. ‘ Tiffs got more frequent as I went up in service’. ‘Got married like anyone else, two kids, both sons’ . ‘Left the army as it was strangling me. Couldn’t stand the hierarchy and especially those bureaucrats in Delhi’ ‘liked my old monk soda-too much of it in fact’-Sardar giving me his life story in tweets!

‘Started a small textile business based in Ludhiana initially’ continues the Sardar.’ Slowly grew and established my business first in Delhi and then in Mumbai’. ‘That’s when tragedy stuck’ says he, hoping that I would break my silence at least now.

‘What happened sir’ I dutifully ask, getting slightly muzzled with my second Jim Beam. I might as well confess, I am a two Jim Beam (small) man. Anything more than that, I get high and go to sleep.

‘Well the wife dies on me suddenly’ says the Sardar fully accusing her as if it was her fault.‘So sorry to hear that sir’ I mumble.
‘Blood cancer they said. One minute she was there and another minute she was gone’ continues the Sardar. ‘Tried to give her the best medical attention-no luck’. ‘Worst part was that she was the bridge between me andmy sons or their wives’. ‘You know with these field appointments, you hardly know your sons, especially when they grow up’. ‘Worse still when they get married’. ‘’Their wives were so, well, different’. ‘I think I have two grand sons and three grand daughters’ . ‘Or is it the other way around?’ ‘Not sure’ says the Sardar almost asking me to help him remember.‘But the business went on extremely well’ he continues.

‘Bought a large plot near Gurgaon’ and built a three story house’. ‘Ground floor for me, first floor for the elder son ‘s family and top floor for the younger son’s family’. Elder son to look after the business in Delhi and younger one for Mumbai. I retained overall control and also business expansion into other metros. 33 crores turn over in four years, can you believe that?’ asks the Sardar
‘Wife died in the ground floor. At least she could take part a bit in my success’. ‘Three cars’. Bought the second Sonata in whole of Delhi, would you believe this?’ he continues. Having stayed in Dubai for long, I know for a fact that Hyundai Sonata is a lousy car but I let him bask in his glory. “That was great Sir, I mumbled’ ‘Yes, Sonata for me, Esteem for my sons’ says the Sardar and the meal arrives. I see the Sardar having Asian Jain Vegetarian meal. “This is surely going to end religious ‘ I think ‘See how life changes’ the sardar asks philosophically between mouths full of yucky pasty main course.

‘This happens one day, after my wife’s death, when I was about sixty one years old’ he says

‘My elder daughter in law comes to me and says, “Papa why don’t you spend more time with the grand kids?”

‘Now this is the first time she has spoken to me in months’ continues the Sardar, ‘I thought she was being extremely nice and cares about me’ ‘Sure Beta, what do you want me to do?’ I asked.

‘Why don’t you drop them to school daily in the Sonata?’ says Rupali, ‘well that’s her name’

‘Sure Beta’ I say, wholeheartedly thinking that I should spend more time with the grandkids; especially since I did not spend time with my kids

‘This routine starts and actually I started enjoying it myself. The kids like the Sonata. Well they were spoiling it a bit but that was OK’

‘After a few months’ continues the Sardar, it was the younger daughter in law’s turn. She comes and asks ‘Papa, can you get us some grocery?’

‘What do you need Beta’ I ask and she gives me a long list. ‘So I dutifully get it, using my credit card for god’s sake!’

This goes on for a while and slowly but steadily I start doing a lot of house hold work. Of course we had maids etc but I am soon helping with kids’ homework.

On my sixty third birthday, my younger son comes to me and says ’ papa, I have a surprise gift for you!’. He takes me outside and shows me a brand new Alto all 800 cc of it. Couldn’t make out whether it is a second hand car. I mumbled ‘thanks’

‘Suddenly from next day, the driver drops me and the kids to school in the Alto. Elder son has gone on a visit to his in laws in the Sonata.
I still did not feel anything amiss’. The sardar stops to see if I am listening or have I dozed off. He doesn’t know that I am all ears now and in fact my heart is palpitating.

Then one day during holi, we have a family dinner. Now this is one tradition which the wife has established, god bless her soul. Come hell or high water, holi dinner was taboo. That’s when I make an announcement

“Beta logon, I have a surprise gift for you!”
“What’s it papa, asks the elder son’
‘I have arranged a family holiday for all you for 45 days to the US during the summer!’. ‘I think you all looked after me so well that I felt you needed the break’ “all business class, five star stay in both west and east coast’

‘But papa, how about the business?’-younger son

‘All taken care of. Shyam Gupta ( our manager for a long time) and I will handle this in your absence. As such business is dull during summer and I so want you to go and enjoy!’.

“The wives were pleased whilst the sons, I was not so sure’. “Grand kids yell-whoopie’

‘That was a great gesture’ I say, munching a sandwich

‘But what was greater was yet to come’ says the sardar. ‘Just like the appreciation exercises we did in staff college, I had’ appreciated the situation and situated the appreciation’ he continues, the only hint of humour during our entire conversation during the long flight.

Then comes a burst of gunfire from the Sardar

Just after Holi

‘1. I place an ad in the Times of India Matrimony asking for a soul mate

2. I place another ad for selling my house

3. Yet another ad for selling my business
4. last ad for selling my cars, except the Sonata
‘When the family duly went on the holiday, I sold the house, my business and cars. And do you know, also found a soul mate in a Bengali professor, teaching in JNU!’. I shifted to DSOI and here I am back from my holiday! My wife had some business in New York and she is coming back after a week. She doesn’t like meat eaters or drinkers and that’s why I decided to give up both.

In the bargain my weight has come down and my medical test reports have all come to near normal.

‘A success story wouldn’t you say?’ asks the Sardar when the flight is about to land in Dubai. ’ And you know what, ‘ he continues,’ when I land in Delhi, the Sonata will pick me up to take me to DSOI!’

I am not a hugging person. But this was one occasion I almost got up,
(screw the seat belt sign) and hugged the man!

—
With best wishes

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Tips to Improve the efficiency of your employees/Subordinates

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I have realized that I can relate any employee with a re-chargeable battery. To elaborate it more, lets consider the analogy of smart phones. In most of the smart phones the battery consumption is displayed on the top right corner of mobile screen. When the consumption percentage falls below 25%, the color of battery icon turns orange and when it is less than 10% the color goes alarmingly red. So it is responsibility of the owner to ensure timely charging to keep it functional. Just like that, it is responsibility of each manager to closely observe the discharge level of each member of his/her team and take appropriate measures to ensure high efficiency of the employee consequently getting maximum throughput. The good news is that when employees are charged more and more, they produce the results in the same high proportion!

So below are some techniques which can be considered to boost the charge level:

1- Trainings: Needless to emphasize the importance of training, this is one of the critically important aspect of professional growth and ultimately for the business enhancement. It’s a genuine Win-Win approach. I highly recommend studying the concept of “Sharpen The Saw” from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly effective people ®. The trainings can either be online, or in-house or at international level. Further, podcasts can also be considered.
2- Professional Membership: Encourage employee to join professional groups. Even if the company has to pay some amount for the membership, it should be done. Employee will get satisfaction for being the member and will learn new ideas and trends in the industry which will eventually help business growth.
3- Get together: If possible, Employee’s families to be invited as well. This will give extra boost to employee’s satisfaction index. Outdoor activities including Lunch, games and fun activities can be considered.
4- Financial benefits: This is the most attractive part from employee’s perspective. This can either be on annual or project basis. Specific targets can be set in terms of sale (or any applicable Key Performance Indicator). High KPI should result in high bonus. This will ensure employee go extra mile to achieve high and high. Also Employee of the month is another technique which should be used. A certificate along with optimal amount of cash will feed extra energy.
5- Knowledge based sessions: Technical and motivational lectures/events should be arranged on weekly or monthly basis. You may find a gem within your team who loves to speak on a specific subject. Find such people and give them the opportunity to share their knowledge and skills with other colleagues.

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10 Tips to be a good husband

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1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.

When was the last time we men went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the cutest names for your wife.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don’t treat her like a fly.

We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this. Recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong on the part of your wife, try being silent and do not comment!

This is one of the ways the Prophet (peace be upon him) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (may Allah be pleased with them). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often.

Smiling is charity and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (peace be upon him) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you.

Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last 10 things you did for her that made her happy.

Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don’t belittle her desires.

Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and play games with your wife.

Look at how the Prophet (peace be upon him) would race with his wife in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Be the best.

Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him): “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best

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