Bond of love

My wife called, ‘How long will you be poring over that newspaper? 
Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?’ 
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. 
My only daughter Sindu looked frightened.
Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice.
Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for  her age. She has just turned eight. 
She particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, 
and believe firmly in the ‘coolingeffects’ of Curd Rice! I cleared my throat,
and picked up the bowl. ‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you take 
a few mouthful of this Curd Rice?Just for Dad’s sake, dear. And, if you don’t, 
your Mom will shout at me’I could sense my wife’s scowl behind my back.
Sindu softened a bit, and  wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 
‘OK, Dad. I will eat – not  just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lotof this. 
But, you should…’ Sindu  hesitated. 
‘Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?’
 

 
‘Oh sure, darling’. 

 
‘Promise?’
 
‘Promise’.


I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, 
and clinched the deal. ‘Ask Mom also to give a similar promise’,
my daughter insisted. My wife slapped her hand on Sindu’s, 
muttering ‘Promise’, without any emotion.

 
Now I became a bit anxious. ‘Sindu dear, 
you shouldn’t insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items.
Dad does not  havethat 

kind of money right now. OK?’


‘No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive’.

 
Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. 
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother fo 
r forcing my child eat something that she detested. 
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to  me with her eyes wide with expectation.
All our attention was on her.
 
‘Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!’ was her demand.

 
‘Atrocious!’ shouted my wife, ‘A girl child having her head  shaved off?
Impossible!’

‘Never in our family!’ my mother rasped. 
‘She has been watching too much of television.
Our culture is getting totally spoiled  with these TV programs!’ 
  
‘Sindu darling, why don’t you ask for something else?
We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.’ 
 
‘No, Dad. I do  not want anything else’, Sindu said with finality. 
 
‘Please, Sindu, why don’t you try to understand our feelings?’ I tried to plead with her. 
 
‘Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice’.  Sindu was in tears. 
 
‘And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. 
Now, you are going back on your words. 
Was it not you who told me the story of  King Harishchandra,
and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?’ 
 
It was time for me to call the shots. ‘Our promise must be kept.’ 
 
‘Are you out your mind?’ chorused my mother and wife.


 
‘No.  If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honor her own.

Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.’


With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school.
It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking  towards her classroom. 
She turned around and waved.

 
I waved back with a smile.


Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, ‘Sinduja, please wait for me!’ 
 
What struck me was the hairless head of that boy.   
‘May be, that is the in-stuff’, I thought.
 
‘Sir, your daughter Sinduja is  great indeed!’
Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, 
and continued,’ That boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish.

 
He is suffering from… … leukemia.’ She paused to muffle her sobs.


 
‘Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. 

He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy.
He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel 

teasing of the schoolmates.’

 
Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue.

 
But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! 
 
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.’ 
 
I stood transfixed.  And then, I wept.
‘My little Angel, you are teaching me how self-less real love  is!’

 
*The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on
their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love 

Family relations- understanding

 

 if a man does not understand how a woman is different, he can make things worse when he is trying to help. Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.

 

So many times a woman just wants to share her feelings about her day, and her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems. He has no idea why she isn’t pleased.

 

DAY-1

For example, Mary comes home from an exhausting day. She wants and needs to share her feelings about the day.

 

She says, “There is so much to do; I don’t have any time for myself.”

 

Tom says, “You should quit that job. You don’t have to work so hard. Find something you like to do.”

 

Mary says, “But I like my job. They just expect me to change everything at a moment’s notice.”

 

Tom says, “Don’t listen to them. just do what you can do.”

 

Mary says, “I am! I can’t believe I completely forgot to call my aunt today.”

 

Tom says, “Don’t worry about it, she’ll understand.”

 

Mary says, “Do you know what she is going through? She needs me.”

 

Tom says, “You worry too much, that’s why you’re so unhappy.”

 

Mary angrily says, “I am not always unhappy. Can’t you just listen to me?”

 

Tom says, “I am listening.”

 

Mary says, “Why do I even bother?”

 

After this conversation, Mary was more frustrated than when she arrived home seeking intimacy and companionship. Tom was also frustrated and had no idea what went wrong. He wanted to help, but his problem solving tactics didn’t work.

 

Without knowing about life on Venus, Tom didn’t understand how important it was just to listen without offering solutions. His solutions only made things worse. You see, Venusian never offer solutions when someone is talking. A way of honoring another Venusian is to listen patiently with empathy, seeking truly to understand the other’s feelings.

 

Tom had no idea that just listening with empathy to Mary express her feelings would bring her tremendous relief and fulfillment. When Tom heard about the Venusian and how much they needed to talk, he gradually learned how to listen.

 

 

DAY-2

When Mary now comes home tired and exhausted their conversations are quite different. They sound like this:

 

Mary says, “There is so much to do. I have no time for me.”

 

Tom takes a deep breath, relaxes on the exhale, and says, “Humph, sounds like you had a hard day.”

 

Mary says, “They expect me to change everything at a moment’s notice. I don’t know what to do.”

 

Tom pauses and then says, ” “Hmmm.”

 

Mary says, “I even forgot to call my aunt.”

 

Tom says with a slightly wrinkled brow, “Oh, no.”

 

Mary says, “She needs me so much right now. I feel so bad.”

 

Tom says, “You are such a loving person. Come here, let me give you a hug.”

 

Tom gives Mary a hug and she relaxes in his arms with a big sigh of relief. She then says, “I love talking with you. You make me really happy. Thanks for listening. I feel much better.”

 

Not only Mary but also Tom felt better. He was amazed at how much happier his wife was when he finally learned to listen. With this new awareness of their differences, Tom learned the wisdom of listening without offering solutions while Mary learned the wisdom of letting go and accepting without offering unsolicited advice or criticism.

 

How to Improve your Life

 

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don’t overdo; keep your limits
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with. Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

Arise! Awake ! and stop not till the goal is reached.

 

Richness is when you need no more

 

Happiness…… What is Happiness? One on the most convincing pieces on happiness.   Khushwant Singh at his best. The rationale applied to each preference is absolutely top class. EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS By- KHUSHWANT SINGH Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of a few essentials which I put forward for the readers’ appraisal. 1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH. If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness. 2. Second, A HEALTHY BANK BALANCE. It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes. 3. Third, A HOME OF YOUR OWN. Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them. 4. Fourth, AN UNDERSTANDING COMPANION, be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to bicker all the time. 5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others. 6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLEto descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering. 7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIESwhich can bring you a sense of fulfilment, such as gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is criminal waste of time. 8. Eighth, every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten to go over what you had undertaken to do. RICHNESS is not Earning More, Spending More Or Saving More, but … “RICHNESS IS WHEN YOU NEED NO MORE” According to Vedas three utmost important things for happiness of a man are  Nirogi Kaya- which means healthy body Gunvati Naarii- a companion full of virtues and qualities Putra Sadachari evam Agyakaari-  obedient children full of high moral character rest all are creation of man’s own hard work and attitude.