grand parent’s answering machine


 

GRANDPARENTS’ ANSWERING MACHINE
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.
“beeeeeppp ….”
If you are one of our children,
dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5
in order of “birth arrival” so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and do 
the ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to
your home,press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre, start
talking …. we are listening!!!”
_________________________________
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
 
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.
They like other people’s.
A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
 
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come
to see them…They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good
if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves
and caterpillars.
 
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why
we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’
They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’
 
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and
‘How come dogs chase cats?’
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for
the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have
television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say
prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME
GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS
SMART AS HIM!
It’s funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Send this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or heck, send it to
everyone. It will make their day.

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