Hymns for Children










 Dear children,

Like ‘Gajananam’, here is another small and simple stotram, I am sure, you would be reciting daily, before the assembly of deities at home. If not, better start now. You will enjoy more, when you know the meaning.

वक्रतुण्ड महाकाय सुर्यकोटि समप्रभ
निर्विघ्नं कुरु मे देव सर्वकार्येषु सर्वदा

Vakratunda Mahaakaaya
Surykodi samaprabha
Nirvighnam kuru may Deva
Sarva karyeshu sarvada

“Swamin,  remove the obstacles to all my actions, you with a  curved trunk , mighty body and magnificence of a million suns .” Very simple, right ? . Easy to learn and easy to understand the meaning.-.

First, the word by word  meaning.
 
 
Vakra— curved.
Thunda– trunk
Mahaa kaaya –  with large, Big, strong body.
Surya koti- milllions of suns
sama prabha- equal splendour, opulence
Nirvighanam kuru- make obstacle-free
Deva– God!
Sarva karyeshu- in all work
Sarvada -always.
 
 
Charm of the hymn :

‘ Vakra budhi’-  you would have heard your father using this adjective, while talking about someone, who doesn’t think or talk properly, who thinks Topsy Turvy . You , of course, are not a vakrabudhi..
 If you were, you would not be sitting before the deities and recite hymns. Your budhi , intelligence,  is straight like a stick. Ganpathi’s trunk also is straight but he curls it . Why ? To tell you,
” look, I have a straight trunk which I curl but I can bring it back to its original shape. You are born and blessed with good ‘budhi’ or intelligence which, at times, might go astray. Bring it back, as I do “ 

You remember, in the ‘Agajanana padmarkkam’ slokam, you prayed to the Eakadantha Baghavan, who gives anaekam to his devotees ? One of the ‘aneka, many blessings, include ‘salbudhi-good mind, good intelligence, good thoughts. You pray for that, you will get it.

 His body is huge; if there is  a road- block on your path, be assured that however huge and indomitable it is, Mahaganapathi  will smash it or minuscule  and push it below his seat. You see a small animal there?  What are these road blocks, you may wonder. You are good in your studies, have prepared well for the examination. Still, it is possible that on the day of your test, you are retained to your bed by a viral attack . Gone in the wind all your efforts. I had exactly the same blockade just a day before my degree exam and I could not move out of my house. It is not difficult for you to guess the result. Fut . Gone all the efforts put in, all the years ! Mind you, I was a good student . Such obstructions are bound to occur at several stages in life, for you or any other person.We pray the Lord Vigneswara to help us, by removing those. 

“You will not ask the stupid question, as we, some elders do, ‘what is the guarantee that my prayer will help me to tide over problems?”

No guaranty at all.. What I explained to you is purely on the basis on faith and faith doesn’t work or stamp paper agreements or even oral assurances. Faith is just faith. Now, you are a child. Go by the advise of your parents who are the best well-wishers of you in this world. 

” I want to question them, now itself, ” you might be a ‘mondi’ as I was, in your age. You know what my father used to say ?  “To ask question, you should have the basic knowledge of the topic. I am now giving you that knowledge .”  So, what I am teaching you now is only to gain that basic knowledge.

 All the best in your process of learning.

Now comes the most important part. Concentration and meditation. . You would have heard the ‘sabdam’, or sound, ॐ ‘Ohm’.. The mantras of mantras, Gayathri mantrams, starts with this sound, Many  other important mantrams too start with  ॐ is the moolamantram, the root of all our mantrams. We believe that before the universe came into existence, there was only Ohmkaram, the sound Ohm. The symbol,  ॐ  represents that sacred sound and the Vakrathunda Ganapathy with the brilliance of ‘koti surya prabha’, million suns, is considered to be the  magnified form,. Try to draw that picture in your mind and concentrate . At this stage, don’t worry about the various weapons and other attributes of the god, which might confuse you. Look at his face, big ears, crooked trunk which is bent in the form of Ohm and the all pervading ‘jothy’, brilliance.

 Done? Wonderful. Go and play. While playing ,concentrate on play and while praying concentrate on prayer, the idol before you. You don’t do research on the stotram. That is only a tool to help you in meditation. Even with out stotrams and idols, you can worship, you can meditate . But not now. A child of your age has done that too. His name is Druva son of king Uthanapaada. Another child was Prahlaada, son of Hiranyakasipu. But every child is not born with the ‘budhi’ of  Druva or Prahalada. Don’t worry about that . Your budhi is bright enough to learn the stotras. And if it get twisted like ‘vakra thunda’, Mahaganapathi will bring it back to normal shape .

Concentrate on prayer, while praying ; not on your new ball or bat..

While playing, concentrate on your ball, bat, ground and co-players and  not on prayer or idols.

 Concentrate on your teacher and what he teaches, while in a class room and not on anything else including the prayer or pooja.. Training your mind to concentrate on the praticular act you are involved in, at a particular time, eases the work of Mahaganapathy, The possibility of obstacle formation on your way will be minimum. Your parents, teachers, god -all are happy. And above all you will be happy.

Study well, play well, behave well.

All the best. . 

Dear—- who wrote as below :
” Respected sir:
                 ‘ So happy to see your mail, I have no words to thank you. I am forwarding this to my children, grand children and all other children known to me.   I would request you  to write about the other daily slokas – Gajananam, Yakunthenthu, Sarvemangala Mangalye and other small and regular slokas. This will be a great contribution by you. 
 With respectful regards
 Yours———————“
===============
This commentary is mainly for your children. Hoping that one or two others too might find this useful, I am forwarding to the group moderators.. It was your inspiration, behind my continued writing. Thanks for that.

Love and regards,
sperinkulam
New Jersey
April 15, 2012

PREVENT HAIR LOSS NATURALLY


Although we have access to treatments and procedures like hair extensions and weaves there is nothing like having your own long and healthy hair. There are several factors that affect the look and health of your hair and most of them include your own interest in maintaining your hair.

Some women like their hair short and it is more manageable, but most men prefer women with long hair. In most cultures the beauty of a woman depends on the length of her hair. If you think there is a magic portion to increase the length of your hair then you need to think again. There is no such treatment. How fast your hair grows depends on your body and you have almost no control on this process. However there are a few things that you could do to ensure that the hair grows out well; healthy and strong being the key words.

A healthy well balanced diet is a good start. Providing your body with a healthy diet which includes fruits and vegetables and juices is a great option. This keeps your scalp healthy and a healthy scalp ensures healthy long hair.
 
If you want your hair to grow out quickly then you must wash your hair regularly. Keeping your hair healthy and clean is one of the ways to increase its length. If you shampoo your hair regularly you will be able to get rid of all the dirt and dandruff and dead skin from your scalp and the clean scalp will promote the growth of your hair.

Your hair is made out of protein. In order to keep your hair healthy and to increase the growth of your hair you must include plenty of protein in your hair. Eating protein rich foods like fish, eggs, chicken, pulses and sprouts is a great way to boost your protein intake.

Massaging your hair with hair oil regularly is also a great way to increase the growth of your hair. Almond oil, jojoba, coconut oil, tea tree oil and rosemary oils are good for your scalp; they nourish the scalp and promote growth of your hair.

Head massages stimulate growth of your hair follicles by increasing the flow of blood to the area and boosting activity in your scalp. Massages make your hair stronger and shinier.

Trim your hair regularly in order to help it to grow faster. It also ensures that the tips are not dry and unhealthy.
http://www.natural-homeremedies.com/blog/simple-tips-to-make-your-hair-grow-longer-and-stronger/ 
 
Warning: The reader of this article should exercise all precautionary measures while following instructions on the home remedies from this article. Avoid using any of these products if you are allergic to it. The responsibility lies with the reader and not with the site or the writer.This information is solely for informational purposes. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor.



Even if your school provides healthy options, it can be too easy to give in to temptation and pick a less healthy choice when you’re feeling really hungry. How do you take control? Take a packed lunch to school!
Here are the top 5 reasons to pack your lunch — and snacks —DAILY, IF NOT POSSIBLE TRY at least twice a week:
1. Control. Do you ever wait in the lunch line only to find when you get to the front that you don’t like what they’re serving? So you reach for pizza again. A healthy packed lunch lets you avoid the lunch line (and any temptations). Bringing your own lunch also lets you control exactly what goes into the food you eat.
2. Variety. It doesn’t hurt to cave in and enjoy the occasional serving of pizza and hot dogs. But if you’re eating these foods all the time, your body probably feels ready for a change. A packed lunch a couple of times a week means you can enjoy some favorites that you might not find at every school — like a piping hot thermos of your mom’s chicken soup; hummus and pita bread; or some crisp, farm-stand apples.
3. Energy. If you have a big game or activity after school, plan a lunch and snacks that combine lean proteins with carbohydrates to give you lasting energy and keep you going through the late afternoon. Some ideas: your own “trail” mix of dried fruit and nuts or sunflower seeds, whole-grain pretzels and low-fat cheese, or a bagful of baby carrots and yogurt dip.
4. Cold hard cash. Pack healthy snacks so you don’t feel tempted to step off campus for a fast-food lunch, or hit the vending machine or corner store for chocolate and a soda! Put the money you save on such snacks aside.
5. That warm and fuzzy feeling. Remember when your mom or dad used to pack your lunch? Pack yourself a retro lunch featuring healthy versions of your old faves — such as PB&J on whole-wheat bread.
Whether you pack or eat in the cafeteria, what’s important is that you make healthy choices. If you’re concerned that your cafeteria doesn’t offer enough healthy choices, get involved in trying to make changes. Ask a teacher or someone in food service for advice on how to get started.
NOW MANY OFFICES TOO OFFER LUNCHES BUT HOME MADE FOOD IS THE BEST FOR YOU.

   
What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.


Hymns for children


 
 
 
 

 
 Dear children,
 
Like ‘Gajananam’, here is another small and simple stotram, I am sure, you would be reciting daily, before the assembly of deities at home. If not, better start now. You will enjoy more, when you know the meaning.
 
वक्रतुण्ड महाकाय सुर्यकोटि समप्रभ
निर्विघ्नं कुरु मे देव सर्वकार्येषु सर्वदा
 
Vakratunda Mahaakaaya
Surykodi samaprabha
Nirvighnam kuru may Deva
Sarva karyeshu sarvada
 
“Swamin,  remove the obstacles to all my actions, you with a  curved trunk , mighty body and magnificence of a million suns .” Very simple, right ? . Easy to learn and easy to understand the meaning.-.
 
First, the word by word  meaning.
 
 
Vakra— curved.
Thunda– trunk
Mahaa kaaya –  with large, Big, strong body.
Surya koti- milllions of suns
sama prabha- equal splendour, opulence
Nirvighanam kuru- make obstacle-free
Deva– God!
Sarva karyeshu- in all work
Sarvada -always.
 
 
Charm of the hymn :
 
‘ Vakra budhi’-  you would have heard your father using this adjective, while talking about someone, who doesn’t think or talk properly, who thinks Topsy Turvy . You , of course, are not a vakrabudhi..
 If you were, you would not be sitting before the deities and recite hymns. Your budhi , intelligence,  is straight like a stick. Ganpathi’s trunk also is straight but he curls it . Why ? To tell you,
” look, I have a straight trunk which I curl but I can bring it back to its original shape. You are born and blessed with good ‘budhi’ or intelligence which, at times, might go astray. Bring it back, as I do ” 
 
You remember, in the ‘Agajanana padmarkkam’ slokam, you prayed to the Eakadantha Baghavan, who gives anaekam to his devotees ? One of the ‘aneka, many blessings, include ‘salbudhi-good mind, good intelligence, good thoughts. You pray for that, you will get it.
 
 His body is huge; if there is  a road- block on your path, be assured that however huge and indomitable it is, Mahaganapathi  will smash it or minuscule  and push it below his seat. You see a small animal there?  What are these road blocks, you may wonder. You are good in your studies, have prepared well for the examination. Still, it is possible that on the day of your test, you are retained to your bed by a viral attack . Gone in the wind all your efforts. I had exactly the same blockade just a day before my degree exam and I could not move out of my house. It is not difficult for you to guess the result. Fut . Gone all the efforts put in, all the years ! Mind you, I was a good student . Such obstructions are bound to occur at several stages in life, for you or any other person.We pray the Lord Vigneswara to help us, by removing those. 
 
“You will not ask the stupid question, as we, some elders do, ‘what is the guarantee that my prayer will help me to tide over problems?”
 
No guaranty at all.. What I explained to you is purely on the basis on faith and faith doesn’t work or stamp paper agreements or even oral assurances. Faith is just faith. Now, you are a child. Go by the advise of your parents who are the best well-wishers of you in this world. 
 
” I want to question them, now itself, ” you might be a ‘mondi’ as I was, in your age. You know what my father used to say ?  “To ask question, you should have the basic knowledge of the topic. I am now giving you that knowledge .”  So, what I am teaching you now is only to gain that basic knowledge.
 
 All the best in your process of learning.
 
Now comes the most important part. Concentration and meditation. . You would have heard the ‘sabdam’, or sound, ॐ ‘Ohm’.. The mantras of mantras, Gayathri mantrams, starts with this sound, Many  other important mantrams too start with  ॐ is the moolamantram, the root of all our mantrams. We believe that before the universe came into existence, there was only Ohmkaram, the sound Ohm. The symbol,  ॐ  represents that sacred sound and the Vakrathunda Ganapathy with the brilliance of ‘koti surya prabha’, million suns, is considered to be the  magnified form,. Try to draw that picture in your mind and concentrate . At this stage, don’t worry about the various weapons and other attributes of the god, which might confuse you. Look at his face, big ears, crooked trunk which is bent in the form of Ohm and the all pervading ‘jothy’, brilliance.
 
 Done? Wonderful. Go and play. While playing ,concentrate on play and while praying concentrate on prayer, the idol before you. You don’t do research on the stotram. That is only a tool to help you in meditation. Even with out stotrams and idols, you can worship, you can meditate . But not now. A child of your age has done that too. His name is Druva son of king Uthanapaada. Another child was Prahlaada, son of Hiranyakasipu. But every child is not born with the ‘budhi’ of  Druva or Prahalada. Don’t worry about that . Your budhi is bright enough to learn the stotras. And if it get twisted like ‘vakra thunda’, Mahaganapathi will bring it back to normal shape .
 
Concentrate on prayer, while praying ; not on your new ball or bat..
 
While playing, concentrate on your ball, bat, ground and co-players and  not on prayer or idols.
 
 Concentrate on your teacher and what he teaches, while in a class room and not on anything else including the prayer or pooja.. Training your mind to concentrate on the praticular act you are involved in, at a particular time, eases the work of Mahaganapathy, The possibility of obstacle formation on your way will be minimum. Your parents, teachers, god -all are happy. And above all you will be happy.
 
Study well, play well, behave well.
 
All the best. . 
 
Dear—- who wrote as below :
” Respected sir:
 
                 ‘ So happy to see your mail, I have no words to thank you. I am forwarding this to my children, grand children and all other children known to me.   I would request you  to write about the other daily slokas – Gajananam, Yakunthenthu, Sarvemangala Mangalye and other small and regular slokas. This will be a great contribution by you. 
 With respectful regards
 Yours———————“
===============
 
This commentary is mainly for your children. Hoping that one or two others too might find this useful, I am forwarding to the group moderators.. It was your inspiration, behind my continued writing. Thanks for that.

Love and regards,
sperinkulam
New Jersey
April 15, 2012

natural way to have long and strong hair


Although we have access to treatments and procedures like hair extensions and weaves there is nothing like having your own long and healthy hair. There are several factors that affect the look and health of your hair and most of them include your own interest in maintaining your hair.
Some women like their hair short and it is more manageable, but most men prefer women with long hair. In most cultures the beauty of a woman depends on the length of her hair. If you think there is a magic portion to increase the length of your hair then you need to think again. There is no such treatment. How fast your hair grows depends on your body and you have almost no control on this process. However there are a few things that you could do to ensure that the hair grows out well; healthy and strong being the key words.
A healthy well balanced diet is a good start. Providing your body with a healthy diet which includes fruits and vegetables and juices is a great option. This keeps your scalp healthy and a healthy scalp ensures healthy long hair.
 
If you want your hair to grow out quickly then you must wash your hair regularly. Keeping your hair healthy and clean is one of the ways to increase its length. If you shampoo your hair regularly you will be able to get rid of all the dirt and dandruff and dead skin from your scalp and the clean scalp will promote the growth of your hair.
Your hair is made out of protein. In order to keep your hair healthy and to increase the growth of your hair you must include plenty of protein in your hair. Eating protein rich foods like fish, eggs, chicken, pulses and sprouts is a great way to boost your protein intake.
Massaging your hair with hair oil regularly is also a great way to increase the growth of your hair. Almond oil, jojoba, coconut oil, tea tree oil and rosemary oils are good for your scalp; they nourish the scalp and promote growth of your hair.
Head massages stimulate growth of your hair follicles by increasing the flow of blood to the area and boosting activity in your scalp. Massages make your hair stronger and shinier.
Trim your hair regularly in order to help it to grow faster. It also ensures that the tips are not dry and unhealthy.

http://www.natural-homeremedies.com/blog/simple-tips-to-make-your-hair-grow-longer-and-stronger/ 

 
Warning: The reader of this article should exercise all precautionary measures while following instructions on the home remedies from this article. Avoid using any of these products if you are allergic to it. The responsibility lies with the reader and not with the site or the writer.
This information is solely for informational purposes. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor.

எதற்கு பிச்சை எடுப்பது



எதற்கு பிச்சை எடுப்பது?

,
   ளவையார் ஐயமிட்டு உன் என்றும் சொல்கிறார்.  ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி என்றும் சொல்கிறார்.  இதில் எதை ஏற்றுக்கொள்வது? எதை விடுவது?

எனது பூர்வாசிரமக் காலத்தில் ஒரு நண்பர் இருந்தார்.

 அவரிடம் இல்லாத கெட்ட பழக்கங்களே கிடையாது.  போதை வஸ்துக்களில் கஞ்சா, மரியுவானா, பிரவுன் சுகர், பெத்தடின் போன்றவைகளும் புகையிலை, பான்பார்க், பான்கோலி போன்றவைகளும் சீட்டாட்டம், ஆபாச நடனம், தவறான பெண் சேர்க்கை என்று இன்னும் என்னென்னவோ கெட்டப்பழக்கத்தின் பட்டியலில் நீளும்.

  ஆனாலும் அவருக்கு ஒளவையாரின் படைப்புகள் மீது அபாரமான காதல் உண்டு.

 வார்த்தைக்கு வார்த்தை ஒளவையாரின் கருத்துக்களை மேற்கோள் காட்டுவார்.

   ஒரு சமயம் அவரிடம் ஓளவையாரை பற்றி இவ்வளவு பேசுகிறீர்களே அவர் சொன்னபடி ஓரளவாவது நடக்க முயற்சி செய்ய கூடாதா என கேட்டேன்.

  அதற்கு அவர் முற்றிலுமாக நான் ஒளவையார் சொல்ப்படித்தான் நடக்கிறேன்.  அவர் கட்டளையிலிருந்து ஒரு சிறிது கூட பிசகியது இல்லை என்றார்.

 எனக்கு ஆச்சரியமாக போய்விட்டது.  குடிகாரன் என்பவன் கூட அதில் மட்டும் தான் அடிமையாக இருப்பான்.  ஆனால் இவர் மது, மாது, சூது என எல்லாவற்றிற்க்கும் அடிமை பிறகு எப்படி இவர் ஒளவையார் சொல்படி நடக்கிறேன் என்கிறார் என்பது எனக்கு விளங்கவில்லை.

  அதற்கான விடையை அவடரிமே கேட்டேன்.

 பலமாக சிரித்த அவர் ஒளவையார் என்ன சொன்னார்.  அறம் செய்ய விரும்பு என்றார், ஆறுவது சினம் என்றார், ஊக்கமது கைவிடேல் என்றார் இப்படி எல்லாம் சொல்லிய அவர் கடைசியில் தையல் சொல் கேளேர் என்றார்.

  பெண் சொல்படி நடக்க கூடாது என்றால் ஒளவையாரும் பெண் தானே, பின் எதற்காக அவர் சொல்லிய படி வாழ வேண்டும் என்று எனக்கு விளக்கம் சொன்னார்

  இப்படி  அனர்த்தன வியாக்கியானம் செய்து கொண்டிருப்பவர்கள் நமது நாட்டில் ஏராளமான பேர் இருக்கிறார்கள்.

  ஆனால் ஒளவையார் எந்த இடத்திலேயும் தவறுதலான கருத்தை சொல்லியது கிடையாது.

  உடலை வளைத்து உழைக்க முடியாத பரிதாபமான பலர் நம்மில் உள்ளனர்.

  ஒரு பிடி சோற்றுக்கு அடுத்தவர்களை எதிர்பார்த்து தான் வாழ வேண்டிய சூழ்நிலை அவர்களுக்கு உள்ளது.

  உடல் ஊனமுற்றவர்களாவது தங்களுக்கு ஏற்படும் தாகத்தை எந்த வகையிலாவது வெளிபடுத்தி விடுவார்கள்.

 ஆனால் தனக்கு பசிக்கிறதா நோய் இருக்கிறதா என்பதை கூட உணர முடியாத மன நோயாளிகளை ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி என சொல்லி பட்டினி போட்டு விட முடியுமா?

இவர்களுக்கெல்லாம் எந்த பொதுவுடைமை சட்டம் வந்தாலும் நாம் தான் கொடுக்க வேண்டும். 

  அவர்களால் தங்களை காப்பற்றிக் கொள்ள முடியாது என்பதை ஒளவையார் நன்கு உணர்ந்து ஐயமிட்டு உண் என்றார்கள். 

  உடலில் நல்ல பலமிருக்கிறது அல்லது நல்ல மூளை பலம் இருக்கிறது என்றால் நிச்சயம் அவர்களால் உழைக்க முடியும். 

  ஆனால் உழைப்பதற்கு சோம்பேறித்தனம் பட்டு ஊதாரிதனமாக சுற்றிக் கொண்டிருப்பவர்களுக்கு மற்றவர்களிடம் கை நீட்டி நிற்பது எத்தகைய அவமானம் என்பதை உணர்த்த வேண்டும்.

 அதற்காக தான் ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சியென ஒளவையார் சொல்கிறார்.

  இங்கே இன்னொரு கேள்வி வரும்.  ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி என்றால் உலகத்தை படைத்த கடவுளான சிவபெருமானே பிச்சையெடுத்துயிருக்கிறாரே அதையேன் நாம் பின்பற்ற கூடாது என்று கேட்பவர்களும் உண்டு

  சிவபெருமான் பிச்சையெடுப்பது உழைக்க முடியாததாலோ உண்பதற்கு சோறு இல்லை என்பதற்காவோ அல்ல.  

   ஒவ்வொரு மனித மனமும் அகங்காரத்தால் நிரம்பியதாகும்.  தான் என்ற அகங்காரத்தை துறப்பதே உண்மையான துறவு ஆகும்.

  துறவியாக இருப்பவன் உணவுக்காக உழைக்க ஆரமித்தான் என்றால் அவன் எந்த அகங்காரத்தை துறந்தானோ அது தானாக வந்து ஒட்டிக் கொள்ளவும் கூடும்.

 தனக்கு சொந்தமான பொன்னையும் பொருளையும் உதறிவிட்டு அடுத்த வேளை சோற்றுக்கு கையேந்தி நிற்கும் போது கூட மனம் கவலைப்படாமல் இறைவன் பால் நிற்க வேண்டும்.

 அது தான் நிஜமான துறவு ஆகும் என்பதை காட்ட தான் சிவபெருமான் பிச்சையாண்டியாக திரிந்தது.

 படி அளக்கும் பரமசிவனே படிப்படியாக ஏறி பிச்சை எடுக்கும் போது  துறவு வாழ்க்கையில் ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சியானது அல்ல 

ஆனால் இதை தனக்கு சாதகமாக பயன்படுத்திக் கொண்டு ஏராளமான சோம்பேறிகளும், உதவாக்கரைகளும், பேராசைகாரர்களும், காவியாடை உடுத்தி துறவிகள் என்ற போர்வையில் நாட்டில் அலைகிறார்கள்.

 




MBA- Mentally Below Average


MBA Management Lesson

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons 

LESSON 1


A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. 

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each” 

So the eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries.” Pfufffff… And he was gone. 

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.” Pfufffff¡-. And he was also gone. 

The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.” 


MORAL OF THE STORY IS: “ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST”
 


LESSON 2
 

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?” 

“Certainly,” said the young executive. 

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. 

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. “I just need one copy.” 


MORAL OF THE STORY : “NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING”
 


LESSON 3 


An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, “What kind of -ese are you?” The Japanese confused, replied, “Sorry but I don’t understand what you mean.” 

The American repeated, “What kind of -ese are you?”Again, the! Japanese was confused over the question.
 

The American, now irritated, then yelled, “What kind of -ese are you … Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc……??? ” 

The Japanese then replied, “Oh, I am Japanese.” 

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of ‘key’ was he. 

The American, frustrated, yelled, “What do you mean what kind of -kee’ am I?!” 

The Japanese said, “Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?”
 

MORAL OF THE STORY : “NEVER INSULT ANYONE”
 


LESSON 4 


There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie  appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a  wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true.” 

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, “WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. 

Next is the Russian’s turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. 

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool. 

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT…., 



MORAL OF THE STORY : “THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN”
 


LESSON 5 


The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up: 
Brain……. .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions. 
Blood……. . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. 
Stomach… I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. 
Legs…….. . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go. 
Eyes…….. . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it’s going. 
Asshole….. I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste. 

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. 

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever. 

Day 1 – Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief 
Day 2 – Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly 
Day 3 – Legs got cramps and became unstable 
Day 4 – Eyes became watery and vision became blurred 
Day 5 ! – Blood became toxic and poisoned the body 
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge. 


MORAL OF THE STORY: “NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE”.